Some readers have taken time to complain that they’ve detected self-referential material and personal anecdotes in my autobiographical humor columns. Week after week, they slog their way through 2,000-word articles which they do not enjoy, by an author in whom they are not interested, with unpromising titles that refer to that author’s destructive household pets, painful medical examinations, and time-wasting hobbies. … [Read More]

It’s funny to see John McCain realize, so late in the game, that he really does want to be president—even more than he wants the editors of Washington monthlies to admire him. For most of this campaign, he has behaved like the kind of insufferable goody-two-shoes who in student council elections would talk about “civic duty,” and refuse to vote for … [Read More]

On a number of literally life and death issues, American conservatives and Catholics stand in a firm alliance. On other subjects, these groups pull in different directions—and this tension causes suspicion, irritation, even hostility on both sides. I’ve noticed among a number of immigration reformers a bubbling up of old, anti-Catholic sentiments—although this is nothing to match the easy scorn some … [Read More]

Last week’s column I managed to offend a fair swathe of my audience by using an acronym I didn’t make up in reference to the GOP’s vice-presidential candidate. Lesson learned: From now on, I’ll refer to women like Gov. Palin exclusively as “momshells.” In fact, I’m going to swear off using other people’s acronyms altogether. No more “MILFs,” “DWEMs” or “WASPs” … [Read More]

Okay, I tried to watch it. Tried really, really hard. I made a phone date with my long-distance love to view the debate “together.” I arranged my schedule around it. I even—and let me emphasize this—passed up a free circus ticket.   Around 8:45, I went down to the room where two months and 14 pounds ago I set up an … [Read More]

When the Soviet Union collapsed, it seemed for 20 minutes or so that America might revert from being a crusade back into a country. For 50 years, we’d served as the arsenal of democracy, its moneybags, its poolhall bouncer. With the cave-in of Communism—accomplished through means miraculous, by unarmed Polish dockworkers, without a war—it appeared we might catch a break. Our … [Read More]

I’d like to say “Thank God” for John Derbyshire, except that the crotchety old Brit has convinced me not to believe that he exists. God, I mean—not Derbyshire, whom I have met in person. Although, come to think of it, my encounter with the featherless biped (no, not a plucked chicken, the other kind) which called itself “John Derbyshire” is by … [Read More]

Finally, someone has worked up the courage to say it. We’ve all been thinking it. It’s the soothing mantra we repeat while sitting in drive-time traffic, a petition we send up to the God of Battles with each breath like the Jesus Prayer, an invitation we whisper across the pillow as a prologue to a long night of lovin’.   Kill … [Read More]

Okay, of late I’ve been a really lousy political commentator. Not much of a citizen, either. I would have cheered on our guys and gals in the Olympics, had I known they were going on. (I’m a big fan, in theory, of beach volleyball and synchronized swimming.) But the games just plain slipped my mind, so all I caught was a … [Read More]

One of my favorite living essayists (let’s face it, few of them really measure up to the dead) is Thomas Sowell—who once or twice a year lets himself off the hook and instead of composing a column, pens a series of aphorisms designed at once to goad the reader into thinking, and to let the columnist spend a final summer weekend … [Read More]