In Praise of Older Women
When I read that actor Robert Wagner had had a four-year-long affair with Barbara Stanwyck back in 1952, my first reaction was that of envy and more envy. Wagner is 77 this year and Babs would have been 101, so when they were canoodling together he was 22 and she was 47. Excellent. Perfect. Young men need older women for sex as much as older men need younger ones later on. It is nature’s fit, a perfect combination which carries the eloquence of the unspoken.
I am now 72 but 50 years ago I would have given two legs and an arm to bed Babs. She had made her name playing Brooklyn-bred, regular-gal toughies, but although as American as apple pie, she always had an air of mystery about her. Plus a pair of gams to drive schoolboys to onanism for life. Barbara Stanwyck played ‘loose’ women, which in the repressed morality of the times drove men even crazier with desire. Take for example Ball of Fire, the Howard Hawks 1941 black and white comedy written by the great Billy Wilder and Charles Brackett. Babs is Sugarpuss O’Shea, a nightclub singer and gangster’s moll. Gary Cooper is Bertram Potts, a college professor writing the entry for slang in a new encyclopedia. He thinks Sugarpuss implies a certain sweetness in her, he tells his colleagues with a straight face. (She is assisting him with his research in slang.) When it’s over he bids her adieu thus: ‘Make no mistake, I shall regret the absence of your keen mind; unfortunately, it is inseparable from an extremely disturbing body.’
Told like a real absent-minded prof. Of course they fall in love and everything ends hunky-dory, the way those things should end. Babs was not a classical beauty, far from it, but she had S appeal, street appeal, that drove randy young men nuts. She met Wagner on the set of Titanic, a very good movie far closer to actual events than the blockbuster of 45 years later which cost ten times what the real ship had cost. Clifton Webb, whose Norma Desmond-like delusions about his dead mother had driven Noël Coward mad (Oh, Clifton, do shut up), played Barbara’s hubby, an inveterate womaniser (Clifton was as gay as they come and then some), who had driven her away and back to America. Every schoolboy knew that Webb was a gent, but a gent that preferred gents, so when I saw the movie while in boarding school I thought I’d die with frustration. What the hell was Babs doing being upset with a man who liked men when she could have Taki, who’d give his right arm for her.
The men go down with the ship, the women are saved by the Carpathia, and Bob Wagner, an extremely good-looking young actor who later on twice married the tragic Natalie Wood, began his affair with Mrs Robert Taylor, as Babs was at the time. Taylor was among the best-looking men in Hollywood when Hollywood employed only handsome people (Pacinos, Hoffmans did not need to apply). He was a bit wooden and held conservative political views, which made him a target for the lefties behind the woodwork. He left Babs for a German babe, Ursula Thiess, and she took up with RJ, Wagner’s nickname. I never suspected a thing, because it would have killed me. That and boarding school combined would have been the end of me. For four long years RJ and Babs did beautiful music together, while I rotted away in school. By the time I got out, their romance was finished, or so I read now. I saw Sorry, Wrong Number late in 1949, in Greenwich, Connecticut. I was 12. The movie terrified me. It was all long shots of fedora-wearing men and shadows. The sense of doom and danger was overwhelming. Babs wanted her husband, Burt Lancaster, to stay at home with her and be a sort of man slave. He wanted to branch out, make it on his own, and, inevitably, he gets in with the wrong crowd. She is marked for death, and is strangled in her sick bed. I remember thinking at the time what a fool Burt was. ‘Why didn’t he just stay home and screw her to death...’
Here’s Fred MacMurray, her co-star in four memorable film noir, on la Stanwyck: ‘Once I sent her to jail, once I shot her, once I left her for another woman, and once I sent her over a waterfall.’ Fred was a perfect foil for Babs. He looked nervous and guilty around her, like a schoolboy playing hooky. Double Indemnity is as noir as a film can get, and it has beaten the test of time and tastes. All in all she made close to 100 films, countless TV ones, and remained an attractive and sensual woman until the end. She died in 1990, aged 82. Although I am not of the bean-spilling persuasion , and have not read Robert Wagner’s memoirs, I am sure there are no lurid details in them. Wagner comes from a good background and has always conducted himself well. Five years after his romance began with Barbara Stanwyck, I began one myself with a lady who was 33 to my 19 years. She was the wife of one of Hollywood’s greatest stars, and an actress herself. It lasted two years. Then I began another one, with another star, but she got rid of me pronto. Then, aged 28, a real romance began with a married lady aged 47. On and off it went throughout my two marriages until the lady’s death about five years ago. Wagner was right to go after Babs, and I was always right to go after older women when I was young, but now I’m old and we all know what the doctor ordered, and it’s not a blue pill either. Viva older women. (And young ones, too).
Comments
Like the B.O the Senate passed last night,this piece is sick, twisted, lurid, lusty, and disgusting.
It begins with an admission (it doesn’t rise to the level of Confession)that Taxi committed the Capital Sin of Envy over the Captial Sin of Lust (not to even mention that not shalt commit adultery) some members of the smart-set was engaged in.
Taxi. This is not amusing or entertaining. It is disgusting and pornographic. Grow-up and beg forgiveness while you still have time
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Re; Taint Spartycus....by the looks of your opprobrium, you must have really enjoyed it. Taki is a raconteur, it is his role, played to the hilt. Shock should be the farthest thing from your mind.
Men loving woman...even when they’re not quite turgid anymore, how novel.
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To I-am-not-Sparty:
Oooooo, “while you still have time!” Taki must be quaking in his boots. And which level of hell are self-righteous finger-wagging Puritans destined to burn in?
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Repressed sexuality? You mean perverted sexuality…
And we wonder why the West is dying.
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I’m not trying to say I’m better than Mr. Theodoracopulos, but I fear articles like this create perversion and tempt lust.
Man’s nature isn’t the issue; it’s temptation. Our society is obsessed with sex as if there were nothing else of value in this world.
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Great essay, Mr Taki. It’s a wonder some of your readers dare set foot on TakiMag with your disgusting and perverted life and all! Tempt lust indeed! I fear some readers need to get out in the real world.
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I miss the writings by Taki about current events. As of late all we are getting are copy/paste jobs from his Spectator columns about literary figures and irrelevant uninteresting social occasions.
America elects a new president in a month, the globe is about to experience a financial meltdown, etc. Can’t we get a Taki column exclusively for, um, TAKImag about serious matters?
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Taki lives a life that, deep down in their maggot-ridden hearts, the puritans, hypocrites to a man, would give their various bits and pieces for. Life is made for living, vigorously and with enjoyment. Their are enough political pundits telling us what is wrong with the world and how they, better folk than the ret of us would set it to rights. Taki’s common sense is a godsend in this ridiculous world.
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Frankly, this whole thing is rather disgusting. Women who have any sense at all are not going to play F*** -tutor so some pimply little s*** can resolve his mommy issues and build sexual confidence. Any female who feels so honoured by such attention probably is obsessively afraid of getting old and less-than-nubile. I have six kids. Both my husband and I were virgins. I don’t think either of us needed “mentors” to accomplish a roaring, yet exclusive, love life.
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So Taki parades his lusts and infidelities in public, then if we react, we’re twisted Puritans? What an old Leftist trick.
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if only taki would run for president:
Lehrer: Mr. Theodor-o-cop-you-los, is that right?
Taki: whatever jim…
Lehrer: You, in your columns, have confessed to…
Taki: Whatever you are referring to let me save some us all some time and state up front: Yes I DID IT; probably more than once; and would do it again now if I could.
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Thanks for validating my comments in an earlier thread that this talk of incarcerating the pretty 30-year old dames who occasionally deflower a teen boy (I’ll never forget my Antonina) is a sickness (one of the many) uniting feminists and Christian conservatives. Taki is a real man, not a baseball cap, gym shorts-wearing moralist. If we all just dressed a little and had better manners, learned some wit, the fate of our civ would improve ten-fold.
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Praise men who love women, whatever their age. Bravo Taki !
As for the rest, remember:
“The grave’s a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.”
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Having been rather irresponsible in my youth, and having lived and worked in several foreign countries, I lived a rather interesting life. But Oh Taki, I envy yours.
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It must be difficult to be orphaned at 70, Clifton.
Webb starred as John Philip Sousa in Stars and Stripes Forever in 1952 featuring a young Robert Wagner as Willie Little. His female lead being Debra Pagett as Lily Becker who was quite a looker.
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If Taki’s yacht was headed towards a shoal a real friend would warn him.
But if is his soul is headed for shoel a warning shout is thought Puritanical.
Ans yet you wonder what has become of independent conservatism which is Taki’s stated purpose for this site.
Malevolent materialists are what you are watching and cheering Taxi on as he gives you your vicarious thrills.
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Re; Taint Spartycus....by the looks of your opprobrium, you must have really enjoyed it
Then stories of what Idi Amin did must mean you are a closet cannibal
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“Double Indemnity” is certainly well-crafted in many ways, though on seeing it again recently I was struck by a sense that in its very fluency one is seeing, in embryo, those qualities of decadent overemphasis and effect-mongering that have reached their apotheosis in the output of Steven Spielberg. I wouldn’t necessarily single out Billy Wilder for originating this--it seems an inevitable expression of the Hollywood ethos--but it’s helpful to back up, as best we can, and view these “classics” with the sort of dispassion that James Agee used to demonstrate in his criticism.
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Southern Avenger points out the effect Limbaugh has. What of articles like these?
Haha, something tells me we’re seeking to protect different things.
Any of y’all heard of Freud’s Polymorphous perversity? Now, what might be the objective of such a nasty idea? What’s the argument against homoeroticism then for that matter?
Where’s Mr. Z when there’s need of him? I suspect I’d actually be agreeing with him here for a change :)
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Mr. Greiner writes:
It’s a wonder indeed. I like several of the writers, including Mr. Theodoracopulos* at times, but this is quite a disparate group of warring tribes drawn together by what I sometimes forget. Hopefully we’ll branch out, though I’m too boring to do branching myself.
That’s just what I’m seeking to cleanse myself of.
---
*I’d prefer he didn’t mind “Taki” haha though judging by a TAC article he wrote he prefers the formal from strangers. Personally I don’t like when people call me “Mr. Lee” - I don’t even like “Frank”, though it’s a headache to explain a nickname these days… Formality can be too stuffy.
I bring this up because of the aforequoted from Sebastian:
Honestly, none of that stuff matters to me. If possible let’s have civilisation without the ah stuffiness. Good music, good stories and art, etc., and good friends. That’s the good life.
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Class divisions in a society can serve a positive role too - I don’t mean to come across as too much a rural Southern populist. And… thanks for letting me have my say.
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I have to disagree with Jack Rich. I’m probably the anti_Taki in every way; I’ve never done anything difficult or exciting, detest all sports and competition, am unfamiliar with almost everyone he speaks of, hate the rich and powerful almost without exception, never had an affair or even a bad hangover. You get the idea, but I’m perfectly happy.
I read serious politics and economic current events all day but I love Taki’s perspective on people and things I can barely imagine. (and this magazine’s coverage of cultural, especially religious subjects I never knew existed). I hope he lives forever and never changes. Besides, in my limited understanding of Orthodox Christianity, all he needs is a deathbed conversion and he’s “good to go”.
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Let’s drink a toast to it. Where would the world be without young women. A pack of criminals, idealists and sluggards.”
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Love...you...Taki.
Always have, always will.
So suave and debonair. So brilliant. So beautiful. Such a sophisticated wit.
I have been reading your columns since my father’s Esquire. I had always thought you a bit sexist, but you were always true blue.
This column was a revelation. Merci beaucoup.
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Wasn’t Barbara Stanwyck a lesbian?
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I found Barbara S. on the t.v. program ‘The Virginian’...and would have screwed her then, since I would have and did screw anything at that period of pubescent eruption. I (didn’t we all) screwed a Playboy Centerfold 8 times in a few hours at that age...until “it” the little-big appendage looked like he/she had been run-over by a tank. [Ouch.] But it still wanted to talk. Doesn’t the Centerfold have sisters?
However I would have thrown Barb (push-come-to-shove), out of bed for her blonde daughter in that same show, the impeccable ‘Audra’ ... How could anyone be so impeccable, I used to wonder, so perfect -
let me defile her… is it possible? No. (*I’m a gentleman, I don’t really want to defile anoyone unless they want and thus like to be - and Audra had that nun-like air about her. Back to Barb.)
Then I’d follow my penis somewhere like into the bathroom, or a year later to the local pick-up bar (with fake I.D.) I love all women the same but not identically.
Some you also desire for whatever the ‘reason’ some you don’t. Then in the bathroom it was not Barb, too old –it was Audra… (no, I wasn’t raping her, even in my fantasy… it must have been a different Audra, she wanted it.) Life goes on.
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Taki,
I admire you a great deal, but come on!?!? I don’t mean to take it tabloid, but Robert “RJ” Wagner is a closeted Mo. He and Paul Newman were an item. Paul and Tom Cruise too. Babs was a dyke. Alpha male Paul Newman was married to “Plain Jane” Joanne Woodward for 50 years. Talk about a marriage of convenience! It all comes down to box office…
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/668717/deep_inside_the_hollywood_closet_rumor.html
Deep Inside the Hollywood Closet: Rumor Mill Implicates Paul Newman, Robert Wagner & Other Big Stars
Natalie Wood Reportedly Found Her Husband “R.J.” With Another Man the Night She Died
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An otherwise good piece spoiled by T’s recollection of his own experiences with said older lady. Why demean it by writing about it now?
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Sebastian writes:
“Taki is a real man, not a baseball cap, gym shorts-wearing moralist. If we all just dressed a little and had better manners, learned some wit, the fate of our civ would improve ten-fold.”
Taki’s a real man—for boasting in print about his affairs with married women? There is a complete loss of perspective here, Sebastian.
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Re; Taint Spartycus....by the looks of your opprobrium, you must have really enjoyed it
Mr. Sabin. Then you registering disgust when you heard what Idi Amin was doing must mean you are a closet cannibal.
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There are only 2 movies that can cause me
to cry while sober. The final scene in the
original Titanic with that incessant wailing
of the ship’s horn,and, Patty Duke as helen Keller
in the Miracle worker discovering the word water.
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I admit that I lived my love life similar to Taki’s moral compass, but now I see the light and promise betterment , and if not now, at the latest when I can reach that elevated status of having no sexual desires left, like Saint Spartacus et al..
But other than these self appointed ayatollahs of righteousness, I will have some fond memories of moments of my life well spent, not hurting anybody, but giving the gift of love to somebody I cherish and I made feel loved. And those who are without sin,…
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I admit that I lived my love life similar to Taki’s moral compass...I will have some fond memories of moments of my life well spent, not hurting anybody...
Mr. Hoermann. Know you not that the unjust shall not possess the kingdom of God? Do not err: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, ...
When you have lived a life of lust and you happpily head towards the grave unrepentant, you bear witness to the truth - that Lust darkens the intellect and kills the soul.
And those “fond memories” are an anchor on your soul dragging you down into hell. You are a slave.
The Truth can set you free.
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Heath ... Audra! The barn is on fire…
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I am not Spartacus. For you have this habit of addressing others with their name, followed
by a period. See you now why I am against the paleocon “label”? This article is disgusting,
and I do not know how any self-respecting Catholic could continue writing for this site.
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I found nothing edifying in this essay. Is this what passes for the thinking conservative’s site?
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Big D you sound like my ex-wife inexplicably with an AXE to grind (considering she took me.)
If you found nothing edifying about this thread on this site… dear -could the operative word be ‘you’.
Smooches, smooches… (get a life?)
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Our host has told a slightly risque story. Should we politely and quietly take our leave or scream in outrage. I suppose old school Europeans would be polite. But my father despaired of teaching me or my siblings proper English manners. We are common base and popular, or at least so in our circles though mine are church and my siblings the military.
This isn’t exactly the website I use to find articles on the Medicean/Ratisbon Graduale rhat’s online. I suspect fans of the usus antiquior also peruse this site. Lew Rockwell and the Church Music Association share a lot in this regard.
Things are so depressing at this point I need to find some humour in life.
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@ Bill:
Your ex wife is certainly a better kisser, Taki told me so.
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“I was struck by a sense that in its very fluency one is seeing, in embryo, those qualities of decadent overemphasis and effect-mongering that have reached their apotheosis in the output of Steven Spielberg.”
As over-the-top that the highly amusing melodrama Double Indemnity sometimes is, it really is going too far to blame it for spawning a style that logically led to the films of the egregious Mr. Spielberg.
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Taki, dear friend,
As the night progresses, more and more responders seem to become strongly affluenced by incohol.
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Taint Spartycus,
A picturesque comeback....nicely done. But, I cannot say that I enjoy the Keseberg Diet.
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To Taki his Stanwyck and a grand dame she was.
For me it was Diana Rigg and a grand dame she still is.
Had I a grandson, I suspect that some lady on TV or films would be igniting his humanity.
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Bravo to Taki. May I be as “lively” when I am in my seventies.
I respect Christians and wish them well. But in the broader world things like affairs and “one night stands” happen all the time.
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Re: Barbara Stanwyck not a classic beauty ?
Gotta be the understatment of the decade!
Grrr… yap… bark… bark!
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Many of the paleoconservatives here are a joke. You act like left-wing liberals culturally. You culture is committing suicide is getting more immoral all the time and you endorse it! Isn’t that nice? Taki brags about being a perverted old man(and young man) and then we have people like you saying it is inevitable and everyone does it. That’s moral relativism at its worst. And when you insult people for being self-righteous hypocrites? How do you know? Maybe, they are righteous. Telling people that they wish they could be like Taki is pathetic. Moral behavior matters more than what you say by a million times. Taki is endorsing loveless sex. It is one thing to think this in your head, but it is another to come together and say this is the good life. Stop endorsing animalistic and beastial behavior. Just look around you and see how much better Western culture was 100 years ago. They stood against this type of nonsense. And please call me self-righteous, because you know it will help change me.
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Taki describes a grand European tradition, but there are in the United States far too many eunuchoid men, staggering about in a collective suburban coma, to appreciate the virtues of civilisation.
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It seems no one commenting here got the reference to Stephen Vizinczey’s wonderful novel “In Praise of Older Women”.
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If “civilisation” means randy elites fornicating with abandon and polluting/ destroying the souls of families with adultery… then darn it, call me a barbarian! (Shout out to ‘taint Spartacus - good for you for defending holy decency, brother!)
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I’m Spartacus
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An old goat from the island of goats. You rascal you I"d be glad when you are dead.
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