Vive La France!
“Last Chance For France,” cries the London Spectator in a cover story, which means that “tout va bien” in the land of cheese. The Anglo-Saxons have been predicting the end of France since time immemorial, but if I were a Brit I’d worry more about what is taking place in my own back yard and leave the French to their mistresses, their wonderful culture, and the fact that France is a far more civilized country to live in than old Blighty.
I was recently in Washington for a speech, and ended it by saying that the next time someone says something rude about the French they should be reminded that at least the Frogs executed their Fifth Columnists after the war, which is more than we Americans are about to do to the neocons. It got a good laugh. The French, whether one likes them or not, and I do, run rings around the rest of us where social interaction is concerned. To be French is to be well educated and civilized. Two summers ago, in a camp near St Tropez where I had gone jogging, I watched and listened to teenage boys playing a soccer match . What struck me was the lack of swear words between 15- year- olds giving it their all. Compare this with an English pick up game in Hyde Park, where the F-word is the only word one hears, or its equivalent basket ball game in Central Park, and weep.
Better yet, as Theodore Dalrymple writes in the Spectator, “mass public drunkenness as the highest form of entertainment seems scarcely to exist.” French everyday culture is less crass and vulgar than ours, and certainly superior to that of Blair’s Britain. People still take three hour lunches, especially in small towns, women do not walk around with a bottle of water attached to their mouths, and television programs tend to cover books and the arts more than the sexual antics of Britney Spears or Paris Hilton. (Murdoch has yet to do France, hence there’s no Fox over there). Oh yes, I almost forgot. The French trains do not only run on time, they also go very, very fast. The TGV takes me from Lausanne to Paris in two and a half hours, is extremely comfortable and clean, and serves a perfectly good meal while on board. Compare that with the DC shuttle and shed a tear yet again.
Last but not least, the French are not at all parochial. I remember when I was living in Flambertin des Creppieres, a small hamlet west of Paris with an admittedly extremely pretentious name, and listening to two butchers arguing about Camus. They both had obviously read him, but it was their evocation of other writers whom they compared him to which left me breathless. After they finished their wine they shook hands and went back to slicing up chickens and lambs. Just like back in old Miami, n’est pas? And there’s something else, uniquely French where women are concerned. French women are as promiscuous as, say, Americans, Germans or Italians, but with a difference. Not one lady in a hundred would quit the husband she deceives for the lover whom she adores. That to me is what being civilzed is all about.
Which brings me to the French mistress, la reguliere, as she’s called. The Frenchman informs her of everything, state secrets and all. There exists between the two sexes an habitual communication. The French mistress speaks, reflects, decides on every thing, things the most frivolous as well as the most important. But when was the last time you read of a political scandal where the ex-mistress had spilled the beans. It has never happened. When the present front runner, Nicolas Sarkozy, broke up with his wife couple of years ago, she was followed and photographed by Paris Match with her alleged lover. Sarko stayed put with his mistress. Both women stayed as quiet as an Indian tomb. The French press didn’t even try to ask what was going on. It was none of their business, and sixty million French knew it. Giscard, Mitterand and Chirac, the last three presidents, have had more mistresses between them than the Clintons have billionaire Hollywood friends, yet none of them have ever talked, written or gossiped about their relationship with le numero un.
Yes, France is in deep economic and Islamic trouble, but that’s the fault of politically correct politicians. My friend Jean Marie Le Pen is running for the last time but he will not make it because of the united front against him by the rest of the hypocrites running for president. Segolene Royal is shallow, a populist and a phony. Sarkozy I trust less than I can throw him (as he’s very small in stature). Bayrou is an unknown quality who will keep things as they are, and they are not very good where the country’s finances are concerned. Le Pen is the only man who can stop the rot of Arab immigration, but it is not to be. (He will, of course, one day when the you know what hits the fan, be called a visionary and a great Frenchman.) A toute de suite, as they say.
Comments
i sure did like paris tto.
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Le Pen is gaining ground in the polls!
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Gosh, that is cool.
Where can I get raped by a Nazi and join the fun?
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If France executed its fifth columnists after the war, why is there a viable communist party, communist trades unions, and why have a large number of Vichy officials died in their beds?
They’ve been filthy cheese eating surrender monkeys for hundreds of years. We never should have helped out De Gaulle, and should still have France under either American or English administration. We shouldn’t make the mistake a third time.
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Dominic
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The French have long been an ally of the United States, and it disappoints me that they have now been mislabeled as “cheese eating surrender monkeys” by the ignorant dupes of the neocons.
The French backed us during our secession from the British Empire, an act for which Americans should be eternally grateful. We practically owe the existence of our republic to the French—just remember that every time you look at an American flag or hear the Star Spangled Banner.
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Vive Le Pen,I hope the old boy scares them one more time.
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Q. How do you say “Give me liberty or give me death!” in French?
A. I give up.
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Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A. Nobody knows. It’s never been tried.
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Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A. The French Army.
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Q. Why was the Chunnel built under the English Channel?
A. So the French government could to flee to London.
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Q: Did you hear about the new French tanks?
A: They have 5 gears...4 in reverse, and one forward gear just in case
they’re attacked from behind!
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Q: Why was Jesus not born in France?
A: Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
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http://www.i-hate-france.com
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Vive la France!
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Few things make me more ashamed to be an American (though, as an unreconstructed Tory who admires George III and despises George Bush, I suppose it’s not hard) than crude neocon Americanist Francophobia as expressed by the above “jokes.” Those who laugh about French “cowardice” evidently have no idea that 1,397,800 Frenchmen died in World War I--second only to Russia among the Allies, or that as Michael pointed out above, there would have BEEN no USA in the first place without the French navy.
Alas, Louis XVI’s reluctant decision to aid the American revolutionaries, which bankrupted the French treasury and therefore precipiated the crisis of 1789, was the worst mistake he ever made, and in my opinion the only sense in which he can be blamed for the monstrous French Revolution. I enjoyed Taki’s article as always, but he omits that the French Republic was built on the blood of Their Most Christian Majesties Louis XVI & Marie Antoinette. There is plenty for which to denounce the French, but denounce them for the murder of their King and Queen and the continuing deification of their diabolical Revolution, not for imaginary “cowardice” or reasonable opposition to Bush’s absurd and immoral Iraq adventure.
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The revolution was a disaster for France and the world.We owe Napolean a debt of gratitude for geting rid of its excesses and bringing back the church.
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Mr Harvey, I’m with you.
And, as elegant as Taki’s essay is, he neglected to mention how and why all, ALL Western nations owe their liberties to the French who defeated the Mohammedan Empire’s attempt to conquer all of Europe at the Battle of Tours, at the border of Southern France, in 732.
You bloody Francophobes of America and Britain: If it weren’t for France, YOU would all be speaking ARABIC!
And then there are other incidental reasons to love France, like the luminsescent and evanescent beauty of Juliet Binoche...and...and, hey, what other reasons does anyone need?
Ah, here’s one more, Mme Elisabeth Vigee LeBrun. She has been gone for almost 200 years, and I’ve been in love with her for 20:
http://www.wga.hu/art/v/vigee/selfport.jpg
VIVE LA FRANCE!
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France also has given us Jean Raspail (author of ‘Le Camp des Saints’)—proof that not all Frenchmen have succumbed to the hyper-egalitarianism of the left.
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Great article, Taki. You’re absolutely right about France. And to the francophobes, let me tell you tonight I’m gonna finish dinner and eat a non-pasteurized french cheese “au lait cru” with “52% de matière grasse” that I got in my fridge! Vive la France!
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Having lived 2 years in Paris, I can say, unequivocally, cowardice is not a trait to be found among the French.
Those proclaiming otherwise are useful idiots. (See above, for a typical example.)
VIVE LA FRANCE!
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“The French backed us during our secession from the British Empire”
Not out of any love for us, but rather to harm England. And afterwards they did much to undermine us. So our relationship is, as they say, “problematic”.
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I’m sure that cowardice is not a characteristic of the french people, let’s call back to our memory the battle of Waterloo,WWI,the Algerian war and many other battles during the last two centuries. I also agree with the comments of mr Harvey, at least someone knows history!
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“The rot of Arab immigration”. Aren’t we showing our
colors Mr. Theodocrap.. whatever the fuck your name is.
Let’s see you are greek obviously and therefore have
turkish blood no? Maybe even persian or Arab. Got it,
you must hate yourself for that. I pity you the racist
in you!
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I like the French and I like their country. It is good that they too have a Muslim problem, as do other important European nations. A common enemy unites and I look forward ton Europeans uniting against the fifth columnaists that they have in their lands.
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LePen’s American peer has yet to make his candiacy known, or so our 5th column “4th estate” here in the US would have us believe. The US has a hispanic problem which paralells the muslim problem of European countries. I wonder if there’s a common reason and a common group of architects for the immigration problems of Europe and the US?
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Why do people get so upset about the phrase “cheese-eating surrender monkeys?”
Lighten up! It’s from a cartoon.
The phrase was first popularized in the Simpsons episode “‘Round Springfield” (first aired on April 30, 1995). Groundskeeper Willie, the school janitor, an unkempt immigrant from Scotland, is teaching French due to budget cuts, dressed in a striped shirt and a beret. He greets them with “Bonjourrrrr, you cheese-eatin’ surrender monkeys!”
But please do remember the role of the French Communist Party in 1940 when they were pro-German because Stalin was allied with Hitler.
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I once socialized with female members of our local French community. They called me “Air-mon,” caressingly.Made Herman sound positively sexy. They were the most feminine females I ever met.And the great fighter Marcel Cerdan was no wimp!
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