Here’s one for the files: Gay hockey fans in New York are peeved at the “homophobic” taunts that arise from the stands. I need a moment to process the existence of gay hockey fans…. which reminds me of something I read by that world-historical genius, Kinky Friedman: “In Texas, anybody who likes girls more than football is pretty much considered a queer.”

I had a good laugh over this line with my Dallas belle, who’s still a little disturbed at my blank disinterest in sports (except for fox-hunting, since I have beagles—and she insists this doesn’t count). Once she told me, quite proudly, of her family’s close connections to the “Manning” clan. I thought she meant the one-time prime minister of Canada. She wondered why I wasn’t so impressed.

Back to the subject at hand: In the interest of detente, I would like to propose an immediate improvement of conditions for gay hockey fans IN RETURN for better treatment of straight supporters of baroque opera. Our guys will tone down the “homo” chants when a player flubs a goal (or something—is that the term?), if the other side will stop whispering sibilantly to each other during the recitatives, and hold off on the catty gossip about the countertenor until the INTERMISSION. Okay? Do we have a deal?

..with Taki’s taste in female politicians. In a recent, hilarious piece he cited Emily Benn as a healthy injection into British politics because of her youthful good looks. Er, I don’t know how to say this—and perhaps it’s a little cruel… but look for yourself. Does she remind anyone of a certain White House intern…?

Instead, let’s line up to vote for a real British looker, Elizabeth Kucinich.  Damn! She’s as much out of Dennis’ league as my beloved Texan gal is out of mine. Dennis and I should get together sometime to compare notes on how we get away with it….

You might heard about the controversy which erupted between Jews and Catholics in the wake of Pope Benedict’s welcome restoration of the old Latin Mass to equal status with the post-Vatican II liturgy. In the old Mass, the Good Friday prayers included some pretty potent language as part of its prayer for the Jews. (The Church prays for everyone on this day, including non-Christians, atheists, and even politicians.) Jewish groups complained that renewing approval for the old rite would restore this language to use (albeit only in a few parishes and in Latin). In his usual spirit of mild-mannered, uncompromising orthodoxy, Pope Benedict issued a new prayer, which omits the offending language but still—you know… prays for the conversion of the Jews. That task was set the Church by Christ Himself, and no one—short of a committee of American bishops—could really think of renouncing it. For that matter, what would Jewish groups say if the Church explicitly excluded Jews, and forbade them to join? It’s kind of a no-win situation for the Church. Conversely, one can see why Jews (like any other group) resent attempts to evangelize them.

But there are signs of mutual understanding on the horizon. The excellent Rome-based news blog Chiesa Espresso features a calm dialog between a prominent Catholic theologian and an eloquent U.S. rabbi, Jacob Neusner. Check it out here.

Check out this story.  Let’s see… U.S. immigration officials keep a particularly vile Englishman from coming to the U.S. to sell his book. So he gets a front page story in the NY Times, and becomes a “hero” of free speech. Which guarantees that he will sell a GAZILLION more books than he might have through a few dull readings to jaded New Yorkers over plastic cups of cheap chianti.

Will we EVER learn from the lesson of Karen Finley and Robert Mapplethorpe? This is a GAME these degenerates play. They roam the world, seeking “bourgeois” whom they can “epater.” (My French is probably wrong there—sorry. The only snippets I know of that noble tongue come from old Royalist songs I’ve got loaded on my Ipod. À bas le République!)

Get a clue folks: Just ignore these creatures. When they beg you to make them into martyrs, settle for making them a laughing stock. For that matter, Christians should respond to films which attack our faith not by calling them “blasphemous” or “offensive.” That just sells tickets. Instead, as I once advised the Catholic bishops in a column, they should describe films which offend them as “complex,” “beguiling,” “intellectually challenging,” “long” and “foreign.” No better way to sink them like a stone.

Newly installed New York Governor David Patterson has admitted to making like… the last governor, by cheating on his wife. Not with hookers, mind you. So it’s not a matter of law. He’s just stepping in to pre-empt a scandal. Smart move, Gov. But take a look at the story, and a look at Patterson’s wife. Man, this guy needs to have his eyes examined.

This one happens to be the Archbishop of Mosul, one of the most prominent Christian leaders in Iraq—a country that for all its many faults, used to have religious toleration for Christians. We took care of that. Which nation is next on the “freedom agenda?” Syria? Egypt? Lebanon? Stay tuned…

It’s comforting, in a way, to know that the good archbishop was taken after conducting a Way of the Cross. He walked in the footsteps of his Master, and now shares His peace and joy. Paulos Faraj Raho, pray for us.

Let us pray that the wounded, humiliated megalomaniac Darryl Spitzer clings to power—the one thing about which he has ever really cared. This sordid, ever more widely hated man is a much less dangerous enemy to New York’s churches and families than his successor would be—a fresh, scandal-free, brand new Democratic governor… and the first black governor of NY to boot. So let me be the first to say, “God save the Tsar!”

The NY Times headline says it all about the NY governor who’s trying to ram abortion into religious hospitals and abortion referrals into religious schools:
Spitzer is Linked to Prostitution Ring

I take no glee in his sin, but in its very timely (Providential?) exposure. Somewhere, some little old Bronx Irish lady’s rosaries have paid off. I’d like to suggest to reporters the same question I once posed for President Clinton, another pro-choice philanderer:

Governor, for how many abortions have you been personally responsible?

Delightful to hear William Kristol try to telegraph instructions to John McCain, since his suggestions are so revealing. Kristol proposes two running-mates for John McCain ideally chosen to cripple the pro-life cause. Let’s look at each idea:

Plan A: Get Clarence Thomas to resign from the Supreme Court to run for Vice-President. This will lure away from an Obama or Clinton (or Clinton/Obama) ticket exactly as many black voters as one saw this year at CPAC.  Brilliant! It will also take away one solid pro-life vote from the Court, in return for which we’ll get… a McCain (or Clinton/Obama) player to be named later. This furthers the Republican elite’s strategy of keeping pro-lifers’ goal of overturning Roe v. Wade safely out of reach. A carrot that will keep us jackasses pulling the cart for Halliburton.

Plan B: Add to the ticket a liberal interventionist who supports partial-birth abortion and gay marriage. This will clearly signal the party’s priorities: Just war, just because. (Why ask why? Just DO IT.)

I actually hope that Plan B comes to fruition. It might, just might, help social conservatives get the idea that it’s time to flee the plantation.

Those of you who have enjoyed, over time, Patrick Foy’s analyses of foreign policy and the Middle East can find more of his stuff at his new Web site, which he announced last week. Check it out here.