Why, Oh Why is Iowa so Iowhite?

On New Year’s Day, NBC honking head Andrea Mitchell tried making America hip to the Hawkeye State’s unforgivable lack of hipness: The rap on Iowa: it doesn’t represent the rest of the country—too white, too evangelical, too rural. This isn’t the first time Ms. Mitchell—presumably a ...

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The Government v. Everyone

Thursday marked 220 years since the Bill of Rights was signed. As tribute, the US government fed the Bill of Rights through a paper shredder. This week they shoved forward two bills that would neuter the constitution. Then, almost as if they were deliberately giving the finger to the entire nation, ...

A Boob Named Bibi

After soul-shredding millennia of bloodshed and insane sectarian conflict, a small candle of hope finally flickers in the Middle East. That candle’s name is Binyamin Netanyahu, a man who may finally bring the world together. Across every latitude and spanning every longitude, hopping from ...

Shear Terror: Mullets Fingered in Amish Beard Attacks

About a hundred miles south of the smog-choked, rust-eaten city of Cleveland quietly sits pristine Ohio hill country, home to one of the nation’s largest concentrations of Amish people. Down there amid the hex signs and distelfinks where the Ordnung reigns supreme, nestled betwixt the small ...

The Great American Pill Party

A report released Wednesday says that in 2010, one in five Americans took medication to relieve conditions broadly described as mental disorders. Such medications include antidepressants, anti-anxiety pills, pills for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and good ol’ American ...

Sore Losers & Sore Winners: Texas Nixes Rebel-Flag License Plates

A hallelujah chorus of joyous whoops and hollers erupted from an audience described as “mostly African Americans” as the Texas DMV voted on Thursday to reject a license-plate proposal by the Sons of Confederate Veterans. After hours of hearing what was said to be “emotional testimony” ...

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Going Out in a Self-Inflicted Blaze of Glory

If you’re going to do something as extreme, impetuous, and possibly ill-considered as setting yourself on fire, it would at least make sense to do it in the name of some higher cause. So far this year, eleven Tibetan Buddhists have torched their skinny little yellow Buddhist bodies to protest ...

This Ghastly Week

The seven billion huddled residents of this shimmering, twinkling, spinning orb undoubtedly performed millions of kind acts and noble deeds over the past week. The hungry were fed, the naked were clothed, and numberless innocently squeaking kittens were rescued from trees. But unless the benefactor ...

Pope Benedict XVI

The Pope Goes Global

On Monday the Vatican released a document with the unwieldy title “Towards Reforming the International Financial and Monetary Systems in the Context of a Global Public Authority.” Although The Bible counsels true believers to “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world,” ...

¡No More Sex, We Want Road!

The desperately blue-balled men in the remote jungle village of Barbacoas, Colombia, can breathe a collective sigh of relief—a 112-day “sex strike” that local women had imposed on them has been lifted after authorities began paving a rural road in acquiescence to the ladies’ demands. Known ...