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January 25, 2015

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We went to see the tenant, a student, past midday. The flat was still in darkness, the curtains drawn, and he was still abed, or at least a-mattress-on-the-floor. There was a smell of cannabis in the air and the squalor was complete. The student obviously studied nothing, and it was difficult to extract anything from him except grunts. 

“€œLook at this!”€ said my brother’s father-in-law. “€œWhat a mess!”€ Grunt. “€œHow can you live like this?”€ Grunt. “€œYou”€™re an intelligent boy.”€ Grunt. “€œYou come from a good family.”€ Grunt. “€œThink of your future.”€ Grunt. “€œYou can”€™t possibly study in these conditions.”€ Grunt. “€œAnd you don”€™t pay your rent.”€ Grunt. “€œWhat would your mother say if she could see you?”€

This argument, clinching as it was in the landlord’s opinion, produced at last a reaction. “€œHa!”€ exclaimed the student contemptuously. There being nothing more to be said, we beat a retreat. 

“€œI gave it to him good and strong, didn”€™t I?”€ said my brother’s father-in-law in the street outside. 

“€œOh yes,”€ I said. “€œMerciless.”€

My brother’s father-in-law was a man who was disinclined to think ill of people, and it was from this disinclination that his mildness of manner sprang. My mildness is different. I am inclined on the contrary to think ill of people, and it is from pusillanimity that my mildness springs (as is the case with many people). This was a discomfiting realization as I lay in bed.  

I must stop eating heavy meals late at night that give me associations of ideas.     

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