Maria Carraciola

May 14, 2010

It’s been another long, disastrous week for the royals and the celebrity set. Which starry-eyed group has escaped with better press? Read on for their trials and tribulations.

First Tiger, then Tiki, now…Matt Lauer? The Today Show hunk has been accused of wild behavior by his wife of 12 years. Apparently, when Matty was at the Vancouver Olympics last February, he “caught the eye” of two Canadian broadcasters and was gallivanting during the night. Upon his return home, Matt and his wife Annette had a blow-out fight and he’s rumored to have moved out of their home. The jury’s still out if the 52-year-old broadcaster is actually a card-carrying member of the cheater’s club, so we”€™ll just chalk this up to him having a very bad week (or year). Perhaps it’s too soon to say he’s back on the market.

Speaking of trouble in paradise, those annoying Twilight lovebirds, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, supposedly had a huge fight while filming their last movie. Simpering Kristen accused Rob of spending time at a racy London burlesque bar and their big shouting match halted filming for an hour. All appears well in their world now, though, as the young couple even admitted their relationship to confidante-of-all-things Oprah. The queen of daytime TV can patch up nearly everything.

Meee-ow. It’s a battle of the blondes over Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez. Kate Hudson, who dated the pinstriped slugger last year, is in a tizzy after Cameron Diaz was seen leaving his penthouse. A-Rod may just be a pawn in their game, however, because Cam is supposedly getting back at Kate for her bedding Justin Timberlake two days after they broke up. Our head is spinning”€”but if one thing’s certain, A-Rod is the real winner on this field.

A reality check for young Taylor Momsen: No one’s scared of you, honey. Gossip Girl‘s itty bitty faux rocker shared in a recent interview that she carries her favorite knife around all the time. “It’s a switchblade,” she said. “It relaxes me to flick it.” Going through security at the airport has proved to be a hassle for the bleached blonde starlet. A middling rock career, outrageous interviews”€”if this one isn”€™t already headed down the Lohan path, she”€™ll get there soon enough.

And speaking of poor Lindsay, she’s been begging and pleading to get a free trip to Cannes to, she says, promote her upcoming Linda Lovelace biopic. The ongoing film festival is one of the only places that’s a typically classy affair, as the red carpet already filled with the outrageously glamorous Kate Beckinsale, Cate Blanchett, and Salma Hayek can attest. Lindsay, take it from me”€”you”€™d look out of place in the south of France, and you know it. So stay home, put on a classic film, and try to remember why you love this biz in the first place.

Let’s head across the pond and see how the other half is living. The Queen had a very industrious week, first sitting in the wrong seat during an official photo (quelle horreur!) and later in the week Her Majesty watched her favorite horse compete at the Royal Windsor Horse Show.

Our dear Fergie might want to look into another endorsement deal. The Duchess of York’s New York company went under last October, and she’s facing almost $400,000 in unpaid bills, but that didn”€™t stop the firecracker from purchasing the very chair she was sitting in during an interview. Instead of talking about her woes, she may want to dip her toes back into the publishing and film worlds. What Fergie wants, she certainly gets.

We don”€™t usually dally much in politics, but now that the bruiser Gordon Brown is out of office and David Cameron and his gorgeous wife Sam (known cutely as Sam Cam) are at 10 Downing Street, the prime minister’s job just got a lot more intriguing. Samantha looks like she”€™ll be the Michelle O. of England with her prim outfits mixing high fashion with lower-end designers. On her husband’s second day in office, she ditched her job as creative director of a luxury brand and will have all the time in the world to make the rounds as the P.M.’s wife and mother. 

A new juicy tell-all claims to have plenty of dirt on Carla Bruni and husband Nicholas Sarkozy. France’s first couple supposedly kept a head of state waiting while they were making love”€”a fact Carla shared with Michelle Obama, who didn”€™t bat an eye at the gossip. State business is also to blame, apparently, for Carla’s physical needs falling by the wayside. With past lovers including Eric Clapton and Mick Jagger, maybe frisky songstress Carla would be better off putting all of this in song?

Mohamed Al Fayed, father to the late Dodi Fayed, sold his flagship Harrods store in London and now the Qatari royals may be opening a new store in China. The very wealthy oil rich family is eyeing property in Shanghai and hoping the brand is portable. Can”€™t some things be left well enough alone?

Spain’s King Juan Carlos is recovering nicely from surgery to remove a tumor from his lung, and his royal bedside guests have include Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia. A group of well-wishers were outside cheering on the 72-year-old sovereign.

And now I depart on an uplifting note. Usually Alec Baldwin is the wry wisecracker onscreen, but he gave a touching speech to the young grads of New York University this week. The Baldwin brother urged them to “Share the best of who you are with the next generation.” True words, Alec. May all the other A-listers also listen to you for the future. Now go show them who’s boss on SNL this week.