Source: Bigstock

I’m gonna start this week’s column with a very disturbing piece of video.

In 1985 two dumbasses in Reno, 20-year-old James Vance and 18-year-old Ray Belknap, got drunk and decided to blow their brains out with a shotgun.

Hey, at least there wasn’t a TikTok to livestream it.

Belknap did it right, sending what little brains he had straight up to heaven. But Vance aimed the gun poorly, managing to shave off his face without penetrating his brain (a decent stunt, to be sure; the only skilled thing that hick ever did, and it was inadvertent). Doctors couldn’t do much for Vance except sew the remaining skin and cartilage together, giving him a face resembling a cross between Popeye and an elephant’s ass.

Vance and his family sued the band Judas Priest, because supposedly a hidden “backwards masking” recitation of “do it” in the song “Better by You, Better Than Me” forced the boys to de-face themselves.

Funny, you’d think it woulda been “Eyes Without a Face.” Billy Idol got off easy.

The band won, of course, and in the end all the lawsuit proved was that if you name your kid James Vance you’re guaranteeing that he’ll live his life as a highly suggestible moron.

Vance: “Trump’s an idiot! He’s Hitler!”

Trump: “Am not.”

Vance: “You make solid points, Donald; I retract my remarks.”

So here’s video of Vance (the shotgun guy, not the riding shotgun guy) giving an interview with his face gone. Again, it’s disturbing.

Vance lived for three years after losing face. Eventually he died of an infection (note to readers: Having a face is a great way to stave off medical complications). And when Vance died, he left behind a 1-year-old daughter.

Okay, that last sentence is lost on Unz readers, who don’t understand math. So I’ll spell it out: Vance died three years after blowing his face off, and when he died, he left behind a 1-year-old child.

Unz readers: “Ah still don’t git it.”

A woman had sex with Vance after his face was blown off. A woman had sex with the creature you see in that video.

Unz readers: “So the Protocols was right!”

No! That’s not what I’m saying at all! Will you just go away, Unz readers? I’m trying to work here.

What I’m saying is that if you’re some self-pitying incel who can’t get laid, that’s on you, pal. If Faceless Vance can get laid, anyone can. Now, if you were to ask me how he got laid, I’d be at a loss. Maybe the girl was uglier. Perhaps Whoopi Goldberg was traveling through town that day. Or maybe Vance laid a guilt trip on some bimbo: “Ah gots no face, I gots infekshun. Please gimme one night o’ pleasure afore I die.”

At least that’s how I’d do it, if anyone ever shot off my face. A faceless guy can only go two routes: pathetic sad sack begging for tail, or Darth Vader in a mask rocking facelessness to its full coolness potential. And I’ve neither the height nor the voice for that.

My point is, in all human history there’s no less likely occurrence than Faceless Vance getting laid, but somehow he made it happen. Forget an ant moving a rubber tree plant; this feat was impressive.

Cause Vance had hi-i-igh hopes,
He had hi-i-igh hopes,
He had “don’t need no face to taste her pi-i-ie” hopes.

The popular influencers on the right telling you that there’s an all-powerful “they” oppressing you, keeping you down, preventing your happiness, subverting your desires, are cancerous. They’re poison. Yet so many of you lap up the message—“it’s not your fault; someone’s doing this to you! You’re oppressed! You’re the victim! You bear no responsibility”—while simultaneously condemning blacks for spouting that same pap.

You have agency. Which you’ll always credit when something goes well (“I dun built it mahself, with mah skill and mah own tue haynds”). But when things go wrong, your favorite rightist hacks tell you to blame a cabal.

This was especially apparent last week when Tucker Carlson, who is to “a cabal’s out to get you” what Cardi B is to wet-ass pussy, decried the “fact” that “forces” are preventing white people from having a homeland.

During an interview with white South African Ernst Moep-Moep de Boep (note to self: Find actual name before submitting), Carlson railed:

Just on principle, every other group in the world has the right to its own homeland except white people? Like, what? Tell me, just explain to me how that makes sense. Either no group has a right or every group has a right. It’s really that simple. And if you want to say no group has a right, okay. You might even convince me. I don’t know. I’m not a race guy, actually, by my temperament at all. I’d kind of like to ignore it, but as long as some groups have a right to self-determination, then every group has a right. It’s that simple. And if there’s a special carve-out where one group doesn’t have a right, you have to explain to me why that group doesn’t have that right. Is that fair? What? I mean, what the hell is—why are we playing along with this nonsense?

You eat that shit up; Tuck speaks your language. He’s stunning and brave. But I have to ask…who’s preventing you from having this “right”?

Who?

Jews?

In suicidal, rapidly self-destructing Ireland? In “import the Third World” Ireland?

Jews don’t run Ireland, folks. Them micks never let in my kind. Too bad; during the potato famine we could’ve told those drunken retards to eat fish. “You’re on an island, schmucks. If you have a stick, a worm, and a string, you cannot starve on an island.”

Ireland, population 5.3 million, has 2,100 Jews. There are more Jews at my local deli.

Hungary, a nation Tucker lauds for being staunchly anti-immigrant, has 47,000 Jews, the largest Jewish population in East Central Europe.

No nation would invade Denmark if Denmark decided to never again let in another nonwhite. Funny enough, the only political leader threatening Denmark today is Trump, because Trump wants to seize Greenland and make it a state, which ironically would give every black and Latino American the right to automatic Greenland residency.

Sure, when a real or seeming “pro-white” European candidate runs, there’s pushback. Usually unfair. And yeah, sometimes the pushback comes from Jews. But just as often it comes from liberal whites. When Jörg Haider’s anti-immigrant far-right party won a place in Austria’s government in 2000, Sting canceled a concert in Vienna.

Oooh, you guys really are oppressed!

I made many visits to Austria in the 1990s, and I was constantly telling those people, you’ve gotta wean yourselves off a Sting-based economy. Consider agribusiness, or iron.

Or at least Robert Smith.

Making the entire matter even more ludicrous, Tucker fosters the notion that whites are in some way prevented by force or coercion from being “too white,” while at the same time he supports Putin’s invasion of Ukraine on the grounds that Ukraine is “too white.”

You guys remember that? Or have current events given you amnesic shellfish poisoning (yes, that’s a real thing; contaminated shellfish can rob you of short-term memory, and Tucker’s the most rancid shrimp in the cocktail). When Tuck interviewed Putin in 2024, Putin stated clearly, and repeatedly, that the goal of the invasion of Ukraine was to “denazify” the country because Ukraine has a “nationalist” and “pro-Nazi identity” based on the idea that they’re a “separate people” from Jews and Slavs.

That’s verbatim what he told Carlson. And Carlson cheered Putin’s attempt to extinguish Ukraine’s “nationalism.”

Get the farcical nature of this? Tuck is telling you that “white nations” are somehow under threat, being coerced, being strong-armed into not become “white homelands,” into not embracing whiteness and giving whites a place of their own for their unique DNA, while—at the same time—he’s cheerleading a dictator who invaded a white nation and killed hundreds of thousands of whites in the name of stamping out “white nationalism” and the notion that any country has the right to consider its whites a “separate people” deserving of their own homeland.

I’m certain most of you saw Tucker’s Putin interview and cheered, and I’m certain most of you saw Tucker’s Moep-Moep (okay, it’s actually Ernst Roets) interview and cheered, and I doubt any of you caught the contradiction.

That’s what worries me. Not Jews, not blacks, not beans. It’s that you guys are no longer able to suss this stuff out. That’s scary as hell to me.

I mean, do I have to put too fine a point on the pinhead? If Denmark declared itself “whites only,” a “white homeland,” and its neighboring nations invaded in response, you’d jeer. But that’s exactly what Putin, in his own words, told Carlson he’s doing in Ukraine: invading to put the kibosh on “nationalism,” “Nazism,” and “white separatism.”

Carlson’s blatant dissociative disorder in wailing, “Why can’t we have a white homeland?” while cheering Putin’s invasion of Ukraine to stamp out “Nazism,” “nationalism,” and “white separatism” could only come from the kind of guy who’s such a lightweight, he doesn’t bother to keep his thoughts in order because most of the time he doesn’t even write his own shit. Tuck’s an American sitcom, with a revolving stable of writers, and thus, as a result, wild fluctuations in the tone and quality of his work. Your long-suffering ol’ Dave is a British sitcom: written by the same person and thus, love it or hate it, at least internally consistent.

But Tuck aside, my concern is you guys. Don’t get drawn into the “they’re doing this to me! I’m a victim” mentality. Resist that, just as you wish blacks would. You aren’t being oppressed, and for the record, as if it has to be said (and it does), African nations are “black homelands” only to an extent; they’re actually crawling with non-blacks (Arabs, whites, Asians) who go there to trick the locals out of their magic beans. Never forget the difference between what Europeans did in North America (actual colonization; population replacement) and what the British did in India (control, management, and exploitation of resources; there were never more than a comparable handful of Brits actually living there). That Africa is no longer being outright colonized is because non-blacks have realized that the Raj model is better than the Rhodesia model; take the toys from the children, but don’t live with them.

So, sure, blacks can say that they have “black homelands,” while whites can’t say the same for themselves, but honestly, you wouldn’t want to trade places with a Liberian. They get to say the words you can’t, but that’s all they have: words. Their reality is really, really shitty. Yours is way better.

Quit talking yourselves into victimhood. You’re doing fine.

You have a brain. Don’t blow it to pieces just because Tucker said “do it.”