May 12, 2014

Pretend that no matter wherever equality of outcome has been attempted across the world and throughout history, hierarchies don’t stubbornly emerge to thwart the scheme. Pretend that equality can only be achieved by tilting the playing field rather than leveling it. Pretend equality is real, and that any disparities in wealth, success, technology, and longevity are strictly due to unfairness rather than disparities in ability.

Pretend all wealth is completely unearned”€”in fact, it’s stolen. Pretend that IQ is not correlated to wealth at all, despite what all the evidence suggests. Pretend that many of the “€œunderprivileged”€ and “€œdisadvantaged”€ aren”€™t truly dumb fuckups who”€™d blow $1 million in a month if you handed it to them.

Pretend that white males aren”€™t responsible for most of history’s inventions and technological advances. In other words, pretend that the Native Americans actually had guns and printing presses and computers and motorcycles and air conditioners and WaterPiks and that white males simply crashed the party and swiped it all.

Pretend that chimpanzees should feel guilty for evolving beyond snails and that the snails should be rewarded for not evolving.

Pretend that it’s nobler to lose than to win and that moral character is inversely correlated to success. Pretend that the rich are innately evil and the poor are by default virtuous. Pretend that privilege is something that you should feel ashamed of and discard rather than value and exploit.

Pretend that affirmative action doesn”€™t discriminate against more qualified white males in order to boost the income and self-esteem of those who are literally underprivileged in terms of innate intelligence.

Pretend that it’s not actually a curse rather than a privilege to be blamed for all atrocities and crimes and nastiness throughout world history.

Got it? Good. Now close your eyes, cover your ears, and start checking your privilege.

 

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