November 21, 2014

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This is not unusual. I have twice seen young girls start screaming when they got fired. One ran out onto the street and started yelling at cars, and the other ran howling down the hallway like she was on fire. Later her father called demanding an explanation. He didn”€™t get one because it’s none of his business. These pussies have become so laughably useless, there are fake training videos lampooning their incompetence.

When I was a kid, we had a game called “€œSafety Slut”€ where you have to call out “€œSafety!”€ after you burp or fart, because if someone says “€œSlut”€ before you do, everyone in the gang gets to kick the living shit out of you until you can name five breakfast cereals. It’s not easy to yell “€œCheerios! Life! Wheaties!”€ when half a dozen fists and boots are laying into your body. Some guys started memorizing their list so we had to switch it to chocolate bars. This game was scary and egregious and incredibly painful and really, really fun.

That kind of fun is becoming a thing of the past, and it’s not just in schools. It’s being wiped out from our culture so completely that even hockey is losing its touch. Canada’s great white hope is a young brawler named Connor McDavid who broke his hand in a fight last week. Bigger guys were bullying him because he thinks he’s so great (he is), so he took off his gloves and started whaling on a guy.

Traditionally, a player of his caliber would have a goon assigned to jump in when things need to get violent. Wayne Gretzky had Kevin McClelland. Unfortunately, there aren”€™t many goons left. Despite virtually every player and fan wanting to keep fights in the game, the crackdown on roughness has put the goon on the endangered species list. Now Canada’s only hope for an Olympic gold may be out of the running.

That’s what happens when you try to sanitize everything: more people end up getting hurt. If Mao had left the Chinese to their own devices instead of saving them from themselves, 77 million lives could have been spared. So stop trying to make a world where we can sit down and have lunch with lions. They”€™re brutal and dangerous animals. That’s what’s so beautiful about them. I don”€™t want to live in a world without this kind of beauty.


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