Maria Carraciola

June 11, 2010

Another glorious week of Lindsay Lohan‘s crazy has come and gone. The SCRAM-wearing starlet narrowly avoided jail time earlier this week when her alcohol monitoring bracelet went off, violating her probation, but she cried foul—despite having been at a club that night, LiLo denied drinking any of the good stuff. Things only got worse from there, as her assistant, Elinore, quit on Wednesday, blaming exhaustion and because she “had enough of Lindsay’s demands.” Poor, brave Elinore managed to last a few months—far longer than most of Lindsay’s relationships. The cash-strapped star may have a new gig in the works, as her ever-reliable mother Dina revealed Donald Trump wants Lindsay for the next season of Celebrity Apprentice. Since she can’t leave California (because of that pesky little probation thing) maybe The Donald will consider moving his show to the City of Angels just for her?

It was revealed this week that Larry King’s wife, Shawn, overdosed last month on prescription pills, and a police report makes it seem as if she intentionally took a large amount of drugs. The couple backed off from divorce proceedings earlier this year, and Shawn is said to have been depressed over her husband’s alleged affair with her lookalike sister, Shannon. One source close to the couple says, “She fought like crazy to remain sane, just to take care of her kids.”

Beware a Star scorned. Former View co-host Star Jones has scored a book deal to write a piece of “fiction” about a TV show titled “The Lunch Club.” And guess what? Just like on The View, the ladies who lunch don’t get along behind the scenes. The novel will track the rise and fall of a former talk show host. Given that the air is still chilly between Star, Barbara Walters, and the other “Hot Topics” gals, it probably won’t be hard to read between the lines this time.

Gerard Butler is moving on up from Jennifer Aniston. The man-about-town is reportedly eyeing Goga Ashkenazi as his next conquest. Gerard met the Kazakshtani billionaire in Cannes last month and was seen visiting her East London home lately. In the past, the well-connected Goga dated Flavio Briatore and gave birth to a son by billionaire Timur Kulibayev, and is also very close with Prince Andrew. She’s quite a leap from Gerard’s other leading ladies, but the beauty and the Bounty Hunter has a nice ring to it.

And speaking of unlucky-in-love Jennifer Aniston, is turning her eye to a new man. Jen’s reportedly been “secretly” dating SNL funnyman Jason Sudeikis. The two met last year while filming The Bounty Hunter, but Jason was still married—and Jen was too busy dodging the paparazzi trying to catch her and Gerard Butler flirting behind the scenes. It’s only too ironic, then, that she may end up with the geekier of her two co-stars. Remember her old flame, Vince Vaughn? Jen must still have a soft spot for comedians.

In media news, CNN is trying to hitch its wagon onto a new kind of star—this time a Brit. The ratings-challenged network is supposedly chatting up America’s Got Talent judge Piers Morgan to host a new primetime show. Piers was the editor of the Daily Mirror, so he has the pseudo-journalistic chops to give it a go. And since he’s close friends with Simon Cowell, the cable net is probably banking on Piers to bring them some bite—or at least a tiny bit of snark. Susan Boyle’s likely still holding a torch for sarcastic Piers, so perhaps he’s already found his first guest?

In a silly royal bumble, Prince Edward and his wife Sophie were denied entrance to a swanky restaurant on an island off the coast of Ireland. The problem? The royal couple’s office didn’t identify who would be dining. The manager of The Manor House said, “I have no objections to royalty in general.” And Prince Edward and Sophie have no objections to a pub, where they headed after their awkward rejection.

Another titled couple in England had a more unfortunate end to their night out last week in London when they were robbed after leaving the private club George. Three masked men knocked out the elderly man and took his wife’s diamond ring and earrings. Apparently this isn”€™t the first time this has happened to bejeweled ladies leaving George. Must be an inside job!

And speaking of jewels, apparently Laurence Graff, the founder of Graff Diamonds has recently bought a chalet in Gstaad. The jeweler is also trying to open a shop in the Swiss ski resort. Many of the locals are opposed to it. Not only the Swiss, but the well-healed foreigners who inhabit the low-key ski station. The residents are teaming up to fight against the opening of Graff Diamonds because they don”€™t want Gstaad turned into a shopping center like St. Mortiz, nor do they want businesses with thuggish looking security guards guarding the front door. Graff, go home!

Cover your eyes. The sex tape of Real Housewives of New Jersey star Danielle Staub is finally available to the masses, thanks to Hustler Inc. Another Jersey housewife accused Danielle of leaking the epically-long tape herself, which she vehemently denies. Now that it’s out for all the world to see, Danielle says she decided, “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” Well put.

Girl about town Amanda Hearst was recently spotted in Madrid at a fashion show dragging her ex’s name through the mud. Apparently, Colombian billionaire Alejandro Santo Domingo dumped her and is now dating swim suit model, Julie Henderson. Poor Amanda must be miffed since losing one of the best catches on the high society market. Who can blame her, though it takes two, and rumor has it she isn’t the brightest heiress around.

Another high-powered marriage is kaput. Rory and Elie Tahari, the powerhouses behind the Tahari fashion line, are officially separated after 11 years of marriage. Because of their two children, Rory said she and her ex are “connected forever.” That’s actually a rather adult thing to say. Here’s to a quick divorce unlike the other nasty ones populating the front pages. (Peter Getty, we’re looking at you.)

Al Gore’s daughter, Karenna, is taking a cue from her parents, who announced their separation last week after 40 years of marriage. She and husband Andrew Schiff have also separated, but it’s said to be “amicable” and the two are undergoing counseling. We anticipate there won’t be many Gore family get-togethers this summer.