Maria Carraciola

July 09, 2010

It was finally judgment day for Lindsay Lohan, and the former Mean Girl is going to jail. After an exhausting day in court earlier this week, Lili was found in violation of her probation for not attending alcohol education classes on time, and was sentenced by the really-not-having-it judge in a Los Angeles court. Two weeks from now, she’ll be headed off to jail for 90 days—and that news was enough to send her over the edge in court, and tears were shed. Everyone stopped for a minute and felt bad for her, but all that good will was wiped away when up-close photos showed a manicure that spelled out “F—- U.” Lindsaydenies the curse word had anything to do with court, but it wasn’t the kind of image you want to project when you’re pleading your case. Also, this just in: her lawyer has quit.

Mel Gibson also can’t wait for the week to be over. When he and Russian ex Oksana filed restraining orders against each other last week, it seemed that would be the worst of it, but the star was allegedly caught on tape in expletive-ridden tirades against the mother of his child and, in one, admits to hitting her. A mistress who claims to have had an affair with the actor has also surfaced and is reporting his ugly behavior towards her—she was apparently so frightened of him she went into hiding for a month. Is a public flogging in Mel’s future?

In happier news, Kate Hudson has moved along quite nicely after her split from Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez. New boyfriend Matt Bellamy from the rock band Muse flew to Greece for a vacation with the actress, her son, and family.

Hey, Conan O’Brien, what’s the smell of victory taste like? Despite being unceremoniously ousted from The Tonight Show, his incarnation of the late-night staple was nominated for four Emmy nominations over Jay Leno’s version. In his signature irreverent tone, Conan celebrated via Twitter, saying “Congrats to my staff on 4 Emmy nominations. This bodes well for the future of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.”

Melissa Etheridge and longtime girlfriend-turned-ex Tammy Lynn Michaels are locked in an ugly custody battle for their 3-year-old twins. The couple announced their separation months ago, but Tammy Lynn took offense when her famous partner filed for dissolution of their partnership, taking to her blog (where else) to complain, and saying she was “blindsided.”

Want to hear from a happier couple? Angelina Jolie is speaking out about her ideal life with Brad, saying “We’re very homebound. We’re very much Mommy and Daddy in our pajamas.” They don’t look like any mom and dad we’ve ever seen before, but that’s another story.

After her friend was caught with marijuana at a World Cup soccer game, Paris Hilton quickly distanced herself from the drama and apparently wasn’t at all involved in the drugs. Her friend was ordered to leave South Africa, while Paris continued to stay and enjoy the sport—and its shirtless stars.

In royal news, Queen Elizabeth waltzed into New York City this week, visiting the site of the World Trade Center and addressing the United Nations—and inexplicably visiting a BlackBerry factory, where she scored a new BlackBerry Bold and tried on 3D glasses.

Fresh off the news of his engagement to former swimmer Charlene Wittstock, Prince Albert II of Monaco attended an open-air concert with his future wife. ZZ Top and Iggy Pop performed. No word yet if they were auditioning for the wedding as well.