November 05, 2010

The A-listers are in hiding this week. It’s been nothing but ups and downs, divorces, engagements, and drama trickling all the way down to Disney stars.

Poor young thing Demi Lovato checked into a treatment facility earlier this week to deal with mental and emotional issues. You might not know her from Adam”€”but she’s actually quite big in the teenybopper world. After one of those drippy Jonas Brothers dumped her, the 18-year-old still had to travel around the country with them on tour. (She’s a singer, you see.) To make matters worse, her ex got a new girlfriend and while they publicly paraded around, Demi sat on the sidelines. Teen angst”€”awful. Teen angst in the spotlight? Totally combustible. She decided to get help after fighting with another tour member. Surely some hot new 15-year-old will jump on the tour to replace her. And thus the cycle continues.

“€œI”€™m not dating 50 Cent!”€ Or so Chelsea Handler said a few weeks ago after the odd couple was spotted “€œgetting cozy”€ in some darkly lit bar/club/den of sin. And yet they were spotted again this week on what a tabloid likes to call a “€œdate.”€ It was a lunch, not sure if that counts? One source says “€œit’s more of a hookup thing”€”whenever they are in the same town.”€

By far the most disturbing account to come crawling out of the news this week was the story that Bret Michaels is to blame for Billy Ray Cyrus”€™ achy-breaky heart. Billy Ray and wife Tish announced their split at the end of last month”€”and supposedly there’s only one “€œRock of Love”€ to blame. After Bret worked with her young cavorting daughter Miley on a song, sparks flew (alleged sparks, mind you) between Tish and the 47-year-old rocker. If we could channel a 16-year-old for one second: um, ew. Oh, and they”€™ve denied the affair.

Hooray! From boy band front man to future husband of Vanessa Minnillo, Nick Lachey’s come a long way, baby. Sort of. The on- and off-again couple announced their engagement this week. They”€™ve been together since Nick and Jessica Simpson broke up four years ago. Oh please, oh please let this couple star in Newlyweds: The Sequel.

Lil Wayne, you just got released from prison”€”what are your plans? After an eight-month stint in jail, the rapper’s hanging out with his family, then hitting up Las Vegas to drop by Drake’s concert. Then it’s back to Miami for a club appearance and homecoming party on Sunday. Fantastic. Just be sure to leave the firearms at home.

Everyone’s favorite couple to hate, Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes, are reportedly engaged after their illicit oh-no-we”€™re-both-still-married romance. Eddie said this week “€œWe make mistakes and we learn from them, but we’re human. We fell in love.”€ LeAnn claimed that having an affair “€œis just not me.”€ They haven”€™t confirmed the engagement, but surely they”€™ll tweet about it soon.

It really says something that Kanye West would confirm the authenticity of a naked picture floating around last week, but won”€™t admit to dating a Kardashian. When questioned about a possible flirtation with Kim Kardashian, the rapper only said “€œThere are pictures of us hanging out? I need to get on the Internet more!”€ He also responded to President Bush’s claim that Kanye’s “€œBush doesn”€™t care about black people”€ comment was the lowest moment of his presidency, saying that he “€œemphasized”€ with W. Hopefully, he means “€œempathized.”€

Scourges of the Earth Heidi and Spencer Pratt are coming clean with the 67th version of the “€œtruth”€ about their divorce. Turns out they spent $10 million and were close to declaring bankruptcy, which is why they resorted to a “€œget divorced quick”€ scheme and try to finagle a British reality show. After heading to Costa Rica, the deal fell through, and now they”€™re left with even less money than when they started. Spencer’s in trouble, he says, “€œWho wants to hire the jerk from The Hills?”€ One point for being self-aware.

Oprah has a sense of humor! Report: Oprah has a sense of humor. On a recent episode of her show, Oprah and her BFF Gayle King went on a road trip that including camping, mule riding, and sleeping in a deluxe trailer. When it came time for the two of them to retire to their camper after an outdoorsy day, Gayle said “€œLet’s just add to that lesbian rumor, come on in baby!”€ Oprah laughed and shouted in her signature way, “€œLesbian rumoooors!”€

Finally, most of the royals were pretty quiet this week, but it’s a good thing Prince William and Kate are here to keep us entertained. The latest chapter in their ongoing saga came after Kate’s parents visited Prince Charles”€™ home in Scotland. It seemed casual enough, yet is supposedly “€œhighly symbolic.”€ Yeah yeah. Until he actually puts a ring on it, symbolism means nothing.


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