John Zmirak

February 09, 2009

The New Republic peeks into the content of David Frumbag’s burgeoning “new majority”—which promises to be a well-funded attempt to turn the U.S. conservative movement into a pallid imitation of… the Canadian Progressive Conservative party, circa Brian Mulroney. Here’s the scoop: There will be no more room for social conservatives who want to preserve traditional marriage, the sanctity of life, or the cultural characteristics of our nation. Those rubes can stay out in the parking lot smoking Marlboros, to run errands when they’re summoned. The smooth-skinned patrician insiders will, between canapes and games of Risk (played with real American soldiers) make wise and prudent decisions for the Common Good. For instance, they will do something about the plague of obesity….

Which leads me to ask: What about baldness, David? When are you going to solve that one? Will you take on ugliness next? When you come up with a cure for smugness and opportunism, I’ll be real interested to hear about it.