March 21, 2009

Democratic Republic of Kanuckistan

The motto for my federal electoral district in Canada should read, “So much democracy, so little choice”. My candidates normally include:

The Liberal Party (known for budgetary “surpluses” and sponsorship scandals);

The Conservative Party (sugar-supplement, fat-free, probiotic, triple-distilled conservatism-lite);

The New Democrats (whose leader, Jack Layton, I call “Jack Lenin” for proletarian ideology AND appearance);

The Green Party (which promotes global whining);

The Animal Alliance (which probably doesn’t share my love for leather);

The Communist Party; and

The Marxist-Leninist Party.

The Marijuana Party, another local gem, was suspiciously absent from the 2008 federal election in the district. This is where I make a predictable joke about their smoking the application forms by accident…It?s too bad, really, because in 2004, the Marijuana Party beat both the Communists and the Marxist-Leninists.

The word (political) “party” has negative connotations for most Russian-born individuals, let alone “Communist Party”. Naturally, I’ve been mildly curious as to the difference between the Canadian Marxist-Leninists and the Communists. Like a diligent student, I assumed that the former valorized classic internationalist Marxism, while the latter focused on socialism in one country.

I was wrong.

The Communist Party of Canada’s “50 years of Cuban Revolution, 50 days of Obama” flyer is not only internationalist, but also indulgent for any conspiracy theory buff! So, I’ll seduce the conspiracy lovers a little more:  last fall’s election poster featured the current (conservative-lite) prime minister Stephen Harper as a mouthpiece for the U.S. His pure evil was doubly underscored by the American flag painted on his face and his Photoshop-blue eyes.

From Nina

By contrast, this year a certain fan of cigars has been put through the same Photoshop filter as Obama’s best-known promotional image. COINCIDENCE?! The Communist Party of Canada says not!

From Nina

I am not sure what the Canadian Communists and their flock discussed at that meeting this week: probably not the fact that Cuba hasn’t been doing too well ever since my Historic Motherland stopped subsidizing it. Nor am I sure what Obama has to do with poetry of resistance, but it sounds acoustic and probably smells like a mix of coffee and poor hygiene.

Oh, and neon-yellow? Really not their color.


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