May 06, 2009


No one likes a ?smarty-pants’, but sadly, someone has to don the duds. I have selflessly elected to sacrifice for the cause.

The other day, on TV, I was listening to a college professor (read: someone who SHOULD know better) discuss his thoughts on off-shore banking and its potential illegalities. Listing popular environs to stash cash out of the taxman’s grasp, he included the Isle of Guernsey, which he pronounced ‘GW-ARN-SEY’.

It ought to be illegal to enrich someone so ill-equipped to educate.

No wonder Europeans (read: those who DO know better) condemn us Yanks to the Hall of Shame.

I swiftly Googled the Prof, located an email address c/o the college where he is heedlessly employed to steer the next generation into the abyss of assholery.

Driven purely by a desire to protect our great nation from further embarrassment, I explained how to pronounce the fiscally friendly little islets? name. ?Like the cow.?

Oddly, I have not received the cloyingly grateful reply I anticipated?yet. Must be coming soon. I can’t believe the Prof is both ignorant AND ill-mannered.

No doubt he will soon be asking for my help with Jethou, Brecqhou, Burhou, and Lihou prior to his next public foray.

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