Richard Spencer

January 08, 2009

Among my 2009 predictions, I quipped that bailout mania would become so pronounced that eventually Las Vegas would come to Washington pleading for help. We seem to have already moved well beyond this point. CNN is reporting that Larry Flynt, representing America’s struggling porn industry, will soon be asking Hank and Ben for a piece of the TARP.

Since Who’s Nailin’ Palin?, Penthouse‘s political porno about the Alaskan seductress, was one of the industry’s bestsellers this year, perhaps Larry should make a new movie about his bailout experience.  “Liquid ASSets” would seem an obvious choice for a title. 

WASHINGTON (CNN) ? Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

?The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,? said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. ?The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.?

Francis said in a statement that ?the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.”

?We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,? he told CNN Wednesday.

Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger ? DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.

But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. “People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt said in the statement. “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”

“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It’s time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”

So far, there has been no congressional reaction to the request.