Suzanna Logan

March 26, 2009

Today, I received an invite to speak at one of those Tea Parties that the media

refuses to tell us about.

Count me in: I love parties. I love tea. And, I

hate taxes.

Upon receiving the invite, the question of what I would say lasted for but a moment before the more pressing question of what I would wear took preeminence.

Now, I hear from my invitor that there’s a free t-shirt in it for me, but I’ve been to enough political rallies to know that the free t-shirts are always “one-size-fits-all.” And, by ?all? I’ve come to realize they literally mean the t-shirt would fit all who are at the event at the same time.

While I’m as fond of rocking a t

-shirt as the next guy, I may take a slightly different approach and wear _____. (For the non-esoteric minded, blank space = nothing.)

In the interest of full exposure, er, disclosure, this isn?t an original idea. Having aspired to be a porn star as a small child. (*see below post for the full story*) and now a political activist as an adult, I couldn’t help but feel a tug at my heartstrings when I came across this: Porn Star Strips to Protest Financial Crisis.

For those too lazy to click the link, an Italian porn star stripped down to show her, uh, dissatisfaction over the financial crisis. She wore only her panties and an Italian flag painted on her body.

In response to this display of political passion, Robert Paul Reyes writes:

?In America tea parties are in vogue to protest taxes and the economic crisis, and my reaction is: Blah! Leave it to an Italian to think outside of the box and come up with a sexy and innovative way to protest taxes.?

Mr. Reyes’ outright nose-thumbing at the American way (of protesting taxes) and its’ women is sheer effrontery. To leave his words unchallenged, would itself be an affront to the proud, can-do, never-to-be-outdone American spirit.

So, in the name of all that is patriotic and good (including parties and tea but not taxes), let me say that I can assure Mr. Reyes that ?Blah!? will not be his reaction if he happens to end up at a Tea Party where I?m in attendance.

My guess is that ?God Bless America!? (or, possibly ?God, get her a t-shirt quick!?) will be his response.
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*Confessions of a child wannabe porn star.*

As a small child, my family used to drive past a giant billboard bearing (and baring) a pretty blonde girl. I didn?t know what she was advertising, but I did know I wanted to grow up to be just like her. True story, folks.

It was years later that I realized growing up to be just like her would mean working nights at the local “Nutty” club. Yeah, at the time, my mom told me that N-U-D-E was pronounced “nutty,” and so a ?nude club? was actually a comedy club where you went to hear nutty jokes. Nice, Mom.

Back to the billboard. Keep in mind that we were on our way to church when we passed this sign. Also keep in mind that my dad is a preacher. Makes it even better doesn?t it?

In hindsight, it?s no wonder that his hair had fully grayed by the time I was five years old. I suppose the fact that it?s now white also can be added to my list of daughterly accomplishments. I’m not sure which achievement he’ll be most proud of—my turning his hair white or my turning into The Official Lady Godiva of the Tax Day Tea Party.