Mike Payne

September 13, 2009

Caught ?Fox and Friends? this morning, which featured a guest who ostensibly was on to discuss an innovative prostate procedure but whose presence was mainly tolerated so the hosts could scream, ?YOU CAN?T GET THIS TECHNOLOGY IN UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE CANADA!? The ruse really wasn?t much more obvious than the other Canadian healthscare pieces I?ve seen from Fox and the ?movement? juggernaut. My question: why so much focus on Canada?s healthcare system? Of all the Logan?s Run nightmare setups they could have picked to gull the base into becoming more blindly pro-Republican, what makes Canada?s scheme the preferred foil? The UK probably has a far worse system, and given its greater overall socialistic malaise, I should think it more closely fits the image of a spooky, dystopian future only Lindsey Graham can prevent. Or why not France, which besides having universal healthcare took a pro-bin Laden, anti-apple pie stance on the Iraq War? But for some reason, the Great White North has become the premier government medicine scarecrow (I am not advocating we adopt their system).

It won?t be long before some enterprising young Canadian comedian exploits this by becoming the Canuck version of Yakov Smirnoff. You can just picture him decrepitly shuffling into a sold out Branson theater, sporting a gaudy maple leaf t-shirt and pulling a cloudy, well-worn IV behind him. ?Hi, I?m Hockey Hank. In my country, the doctor tells you to turn your head?but you have to wait six months to cough!?

(Laughter. Applause. Roses.)