John Zmirak

January 19, 2009

Imagine Joseph McCarthy in drag. Or J. Edgar Hoover. (Okay, that’s not as hard.) That’s what’s happening in California, as prosperous perverts “out” the opponents of gay “marriage” and try to harass them into silence.

Maybe it’s time for payback, to start publishing the names and addresses of contributors to the pro-gay side—and picketing their homes, handing out leaflets with images copied from gay leather magazines.

Better still, we could buy up houses right across the street, and make them really, really tacky. Move in next to these tasteful same sex couples, and paint the place in camouflage colors. Breed packs of mongrel dogs (no basenjis, no Jack Russell terriers—I’m thinking half coon hound, half Rottweiler). Play twangy country music, have pig roasts in the back yard, fly Confederate battle flags. Park monster trucks in the driveways, have lots of kids and teach them to shoot.

In other words, act like Americans. These screamers couldn’t stand it. The property values on their tastefully renovated Victorians would plummet, and at the very least they’d have to sell. Or they might just curl up in fetal balls and die of distaste….

Then we’d lower the Battle Flags to half mast.