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The Week’s Most Rewriting the Past, Mamdani Votes Cast, and Holocaust Truth at Last Headlines

ASTRONOMICALLY STUPID
Bootylicious celebrity Kim Kardashian has an ass so big, she thinks it makes her an expert on the moon. Amateur(ish) historian Kim came out this week as believing the Apollo moon landings were falsely staged by both Buzz Aldrin and “the other one” (Neil Armstrong), on the grounds that “There’s no gravity on the moon.” There’s no gravity in her statements, either.

Kim has pronounced the moon landings completely fake on the following key criteria: impossible lunar winds blowing the planted American flag of the astronauts, inconsistencies in the footprints the Apollo crew left behind, and the suspicious absence of stars in photographs. In response, the 95-year-old Buzz Aldrin has pronounced Kim herself completely fake on the following key criteria too: her anus, breasts, lips, nose, and cheeks.

It has since emerged that Kim also refuses to believe the moon has periods. But, strangely, she happily pretends to believe her stepfather Caitlyn does.

DENIAL IS A RIVER IN AUSCHWITZ
What are Konspiracy Kim’s opinions on the reality or otherwise of the Holocaust? Having watched every last episode of Keeping Up With the Kaltenbrunners, she definitely thinks it is real, and has in the past spoken out against heretical Muslim denial of Turkey’s Armenian Genocide of old, given her own proud Armenian ancestry.

“Many historians believe that if Turkey had been held responsible for the Armenian Genocide, and reprimanded for what they did, the [Nazi] Holocaust may not have happened,” she wrote in 2016. To which her then husband Kanye West replied, “It didn’t happen.”

America’s most famous Negro white supremacist Kanye often used to mix with America’s most famous Mexican white supremacist Nick Fuentes, another Holocaust denier (or numerical downplayer, anyway), whose smash-hit interview with Tucker Carlson last week gained an amazing 17 million views on X; that’s approximately 10.5m more than the number of Jews Fuentes reckons actually died in the gas chambers.

Fuentes may not also think the moon landings were fake, but he more than makes up for it by refusing to acknowledge the existence of Jew-piter. And if you think that particular gratuitous Jew-related joke is forced and unfunny, you should try watching Fuentes’ livestream channel; it’s like seeing Jackie Mason being forced to perform for his life in Sobibor.

Young Nick’s main “revelation” in his interview with Carlson was that he turns out to have been a surprising fan of Josef Stalin. It must have been something about Uncle Joe’s Zapata mustache that made Fuentes recognize the man as a fellow Mexican.

THE MILLER’S TALE
Contemporary confusion about the true nature and extent of the Holocaust is disarmingly widespread. Trump-hating Hollywood legend Robert De Niro has just accused one of the key creators of the president’s current deportation drive, Stephen Miller, of being “the Goebbels of the Cabinet.” Asked if this meant he thought Miller was a Nazi, De Niro unhesitatingly replied, “Yes, he is, and he should be ashamed of himself.”

At this point, Miller issued a statement reminding Shitshow Bob that he was actually Jewish.

Miller then went on to state that, far from the cinematic classics of his youth, De Niro had lately degenerated down into merely “degrading himself on camera with one horrific film after another for my entire adult life.” Final proof Trump’s MAGA inner circle really has seen the Epstein Tapes? Or just a reference to a different Dirty Grandpa entirely?

NUMB-SKULL ACTIONS
Also deeply confused about the Holocaust was Maine Democrat Senate candidate Graham Platner, who professed complete ignorance that his favorite SS Tötenkopf skull tattoo was in any way related to Nazism, once its embarrassing existence was revealed prior to voting. In a literal cover-up effort, Platner has since had his apparent Schutzstaffel emblem inked over with what is described in reports as “a dog-like creature,” very likely a dog—probably a German shepherd called Blondi.

“I am not a secret Nazi,” Platner reassured worried electors, which is never a good start to any speech. According to former U.S. Marine Platner, plenty of American troops get edgy Nazi-linked tattoos like Tötenkopfs and SS double-lightning runes all the time, not because they are actually fascists, but because it makes them look big and hard with their shirts off: “I will be sure to inform all the black guys I know with [lightning] bolts that they’re Nazis now.” Kanye West already knows.

The strangest Holocaust-related faux pas of the week surely came from Pennsylvania, where one high school inexplicably decided to decorate a special Auschwitz-themed float for their annual fun Halloween street parade, complete with a replica of the infamous death-camp gates. Once again, prominent WWII historian Robert De Niro intervened to defend the school with his immense related expertise.

“Far from being in any way offensive, the association between Halloween and the Holocaust is long-standing and profound,” De Niro said. “In Bergen-Belsen, the inmates loved the holiday so much, they dressed up as living skeletons each and every day of the year, before knocking on the camp commandants’ doors, playfully begging for food.”

This entire segment was guest-written for you this week by Nick Fuentes. In Spanish.

THE FATHER OF LIES
Where does the current craze to falsely rewrite history from an obsessive fringe political perspective originate?

One answer may lie in New York, where Marxist Muslim Zohran Mamdani’s easy victory in this week’s mayoral race was partly attributed by him to his mad dad Mahmood Mamdani, whom Jihadi Junior acclaims as one of the greatest influences upon his own retarded adult outlook on life and economics. The last time a left-wing U.S. politician tried pushing us Dreams From My Father, we ended up with Obama. This time, we may get an even worse closet Islamist.

Among the radical Columbia University professor Mahmood’s many “history” books are Good Muslim, Bad Muslim, whose second half is far longer than its first and teaches that Islamist suicide bombers should not be “stigmatized”—otherwise they might go away and kill themselves or something.

Another work is Neither Settler Nor Native: The Making and Unmaking of Permanent Minorities, which argues the Nazis got their whole idea for eliminating the Jews from Eugenicist Uncle Sam in the first place, Hitler being greatly inspired by America’s “history of genocide, ethnic cleansing, official racism and concentration camps (known as Indian reservations).”

Still, as George Soros has reportedly been financing Mahmood’s scholarship (and, indirectly, his son’s election campaign), it seems the persecuted Jews got their own back on the wicked white Americans in the end—via the ominous proxy of their pet Muslims.

The book has been described as an “academic treatise on settler colonialism around the world.” Does that include the settler-colonialism of the Mamdanis themselves in New York?

PURE IDI-OCY
Mahmood’s latest and most comically revisionist book is Slow Poison: Idi Amin, Yoweri Musuveni, and the Making of the Ugandan State, which tries to repaint the notoriously bloodthirsty African despot Amin as a lovely man after all, on the sole apparent grounds that at least he wasn’t white like the country’s former British colonizers were.

Born in India, Mahmood was raised in Uganda, before being expelled by Amin in 1972, when the dictator woke up one morning and suddenly announced all the Patels had to scarper. Supposedly, this was because Amin had received a message from God to that effect in a dream: a bit like Martin Luther King, but not quite as racist.

Actually, Amin was lying. He really wanted the wogs out because he thought (not wholly inaccurately) that brown subcontinentals like Mahmood still controlled most of the nation’s postimperial industry and commerce, not the poor oppressed native blacks like himself, who had nary a corner shop nor a Microsoft Windows call center to their name. For this, Amin became known as “Black Hitler”—today that’s just Kanye West—but Mahmood argues this label was simply a bigoted “media-driven preconception” on behalf of racist Western journalists.

“Even as Amin ethnically cleansed Uganda of Asians and expropriated [their property, money, and businesses away] from them, he did everything in his power to spare Asian lives,” Mahmood wrote. Everything except threatening to kill them all if they and their kids didn’t get the fuck out within ninety days, of course—a warning Amin certainly never extended to all those fellow blacks whom he shot, bayoneted, beheaded, blew apart with dynamite, beat to a pulp with sledgehammers, fed to crocodiles, or ate himself for dinner.

Despite literally being kicked out of the country by Amin himself personally, Mahmood has managed in his book to divine who the true Paki-bashing neo-Nazi aggressors really were in Africa—the departed British, who had “no intention of taking responsibility for their colonial history” in terms of London facilitating the initial settlement of Indians in Uganda in the first place. No intention of taking any responsibility apart from spending millions on allowing 27,200 Ugandan Asian refugees to come and settle in Britain straightaway with barely any notice, that is. Including Mahmood Mamdani.

Due to his many bizarre antics, Idi Amin is often said to have been completely insane. This column disagrees. He deported Mahmood Mamdani, didn’t he?

ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK
Never mind taking any lessons from his father. When it comes to ethnic cleansing, has New York’s new mayor Zohran actually been taking lessons from the 1970s Black Hitler?

Immediately prior to his victory, around 765,000 New Yorkers, from a population of about 8.4m, said they would “definitely” flee the city if Zohran won and began to follow through on his wild and irresponsible promises to do things like nationalize the place’s grocery stores; Idi Amin was not the only one to try stealing all the Paki Shops, then.

Due to Zohran’s status as a loyal member of the Religion of Peace, combined with his seeming desire to “globalize the intifada,” Jews have been generally portrayed as the most likely to run away, so there goes the main tax base, and all the bagels.

Interestingly, though, 11 percent of the Big Apple’s Asian residents also said they were likely to exit. The combined Indian- and Pakistani-heritage population of New York City is about 3 percent, around 250,000 people; 11 percent of that is 27,500. Idi Amin himself expelled slightly fewer Ugandan Asians, at 27,200, directly to the United Kingdom, Mahmood Mamdani included.

Therefore, Zohran Mamdani is already officially worse than Idi Amin, and he was only elected on Wednesday.

PIZZA HUTU
Observing NYC’s looming ethnic auto-cleansing, some Republican politicians have proposed that, all things considered, rather than emptying out Jew York, it might be far easier to just deport Zohran Mamdani from the nation instead—it’s what Idi would have done.

But who would give him shelter? The U.K., of course, just like it once did to his ungrateful Commie father: They’ll let any old fool in there these days! In fact, the really hard part about being an illegal immigrant in Britain in 2025 is trying to get back out again.

Hadush Kebatu may sound like a special move from Street Fighter II: Turban Edition, but he is in fact a 38-year-old Ethiopian pervert imprisoned and then expelled from Albion’s fair shores after approaching a 14-year-old schoolgirl in the street, demanding a slice of her pizza, and offering to impregnate her with an agreeably brown baby.

Released from prison following the end of his sentence, officials were meant to put him on the next plane back to Pedo-Land but instead left Hadush standing around outside confused for ninety minutes. He asked where his deportation flight was, but jailers just told him to go away. So he did. And then he was reported to have “escaped” from custody.

Desperate to return home, Kebatu began wandering London, approaching random policemen and begging to be rearrested:

“Look here, police, I am wanted man, I am arrested, I will give you my hand, please help, where is police station?… I am not unknown…. I will give you my hand, please help me, where is the police station, take me, I am wanted. You know me, or my image, my name is Hadush Kebatu, nationality Ethiopia. Please, I was the mistake release from Chelmsford Prison. Please help me.”

But none of them did help him, the cops simply drove away. Once eventually apprehended, to ensure he didn’t create a fuss at the airport, immigration officials handed Hadush a £500 bribe—the average annual salary in Ethiopia being £502.45. That’s an excellent relative rate of pay for molesting a schoolgirl.

You’d think Kebatu would be grateful for this unparalleled taxpayer generosity, but no, still he wanted more: “I went to the U.K., I ate some pizza, I tried to rape a teenager, and they only gave me a year’s wages for it. Prince Andrew did the exact same thing, and he got a big castle.”

One day, when the revisionist Mahmood Mamdani-like historians of the West’s future come to compile the dismal chronicles of our own present dying civilization, as exemplified perfectly in farcical parables like that of Mr. Kebatu, what will they write?

Hard to say; it’ll all be in Urdu or in Arabic.