Ilhan Omar

Source: Tony Webster

The Week’s Most Hitler Changes Race, Luigi Fights His Case, and Moomin Hides in Base Headlines

THIRD WORLD REICH
Adolf Hitler has just won yet another election—this time not in Germany, but in Namibia. The country being a former colony of the Reich, Namibian parents often like to christen their offspring after famous Germans of the past, which is how a politician called Adolf Hitler Uunona got his name. Having just been reelected for the fifth time in a row, Adolf has finally gotten around to legally removing his middle name, to be now just called plain old Adolf Uunona.

Adolf feared that being christened after Hitler by his father—who allegedly didn’t know anything about the Führer’s career, him being such an obscure historical figure—could have put some voters off, as his opponents had disingenuously used Uunona’s moniker to “associate me with someone I don’t even know.” As a committed left-wing anti-apartheid activist in years gone by, Uunona reassured worried fellow countrymen that he was not a white supremacist at all: just a black one.

This still isn’t as strange as a 2013 election in India contested by three separate candidates called Adolf Lu Hitler, Frankenstein Momin, and Billykid Sangma. Being called Hitler may initially sound like an electoral disadvantage, but naming your child after a sadistic, warmongering, Jew-persecuting maniac is not actually all that unusual a thing to do on the Indian subcontinent: Just look how many have been called Muhammad.

“I am aware at one point of time Adolf Hitler was the most hated person on earth for the genocide of the Jews. But my father added ‘Lu’ in between, naming me Adolf Lu Hitler, and that’s why I am different,” Hitler told reporters at the time. To make this distinction extra clear, his dad should have called him “Ju,” then.

Still, when it comes to being christened after tyrannical, deranged, nation-invading leaders of the past, it could have been worse. The man who wrote up Mr. Uunona’s story for the New York Post was called Anthony Blair.

THE SOMALI FAMILY MUMINTROLL
Another political leader out there sharing a name with an unacceptably white-skinned individual at present is extremist cleric Abdul Qadr Mumin, the latest caliph of ISIS. Sadly, he is not actually named after one of the adorable hippo-like albino children’s cartoon troll characters from Finland: The word “Mumin” means “perfect believer” in Arabic, as in one whose faith in Islam is even greater than that of the average Mecca-bender, hence his fellow ideologue Frankenstein Momin’s own surname over in India.

Like most trolls, Mumin currently lives in a cave. He also has ridiculous bright sticky-up orange hair. Unlike that of the troll dolls, though, his own ginger shock stands up on end from his chin as his rather mad beard, not on top of his withered, wrinkle-skinned head. Contrary to the actual cartoon Moomins, the jihadi Mumin isn’t actually white, however: When it comes to fictional storybook goblins, he is much more of a Gollywog.

Mumin may well be reaching his own personal Finnish line imminently nonetheless, though. U.S. forces have located the general area of his mountainside Mumin Valley HQ in Somalia and are repeatedly attacking it. News emerged this week, though, that Mumin has not always lived in Somalia. During the 1980/90s civil war, he fled to Scandinavia (Sweden, not Finland) as a refugee to escape all the bombs, before settling in the U.K., where he promptly began recruiting terror converts in London’s Islamic cafés, grooming others for jihad over plates of cakes and sweet treats: Terror in Britain was quite literally ginger-bred.

Given that the U.K. gave Mumin sanctuary from falling munitions once before, presumably he could just escape the USAF’s wrath by re-claiming asylum there once again to avoid some more? Given the number of extremists now living in the city, the next time they want to take out the next likely leader of ISIS, the Pentagon should save themselves time and just carpet-bomb London, not the Horn of Africa.

LUIGI BOARD MESSAGES
One more individual often taken for a popular cartoon character is Luigi Mangione, the “medical activist” accused of “heroically” shooting dead health-care CEO Brian Thompson in the street last December. His ongoing trial in Manhattan is being disrupted by hordes of largely female fangirl supporters, who show their love by dressing up in green cap and blue overalls as the equally heroic plumber Luigi, brother of Mario in Nintendo’s Super Mario franchise.

What the “Mangionistas,” as they call themselves, evidently do not realize is that, via their long-running roles in the Dr. Mario puzzle-game series, Luigi and his sibling are in fact part of the very same abusive and profiteering Big Pharma complex as Thompson was themselves. There has been no more unedifying and counterproductive spectacle since Harvey Weinstein decided to attend his own session in the dock looking just like Wario.

The whole circus is part of a wave of general anti-corporate, anti-capitalist sentiment sweeping through America’s professional activist class at the moment: Polls show an amazing 41 percent of 18- to 29-year-olds in the country agree it is either “somewhat” or “completely” acceptable to kill a corporate CEO. When that particular CEO is Mark Zuckerberg, that figure jumps to 100 percent.

Many of Luigi’s supporters are motivated by twisted sexual desire, finding the man highly attractive. One woman “married” an AI version of “LuLu,” as they like to call him, while home-penned erotica involving the alleged assassin is also available online. Other fans are simply sick—in all senses of the term. Health-care insurance companies don’t always make a payout, and certain patient advocacy groups have decided to use Luigi as a figurehead for their cause. Some medical campaigners say they are uncomfortable with using a serious criminal as the public messaging face of a political activist group, however. They should relax: It never did BLM any harm with George Floyd.

Or Donkey Kong, as his own courtside cosplay club liked to refer to him.

THE ROAD TO DELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS
Can any American CEOs these days be trusted, or should they all just be shot dead in the streets? Some at least try to look like they are doing good things in this world. Michael Dell, the founder of Dell Computers, has announced he will be depositing $6.25B directly into the bank accounts of 25 million American schoolchildren, in one-off sums of $250 each. Initially, this sounds like pure philanthropy…until you realize that Dell has simultaneously also announced it is currently selling its cheapest entry-level laptop at a special discount price of only $250.

Will it be a strict condition of kids receiving the donation that they can only then actually spend it on purchase of a Dell 15 Laptop with Windows 11 Home, AMD Ryzen 3 7320U processor, 8GB of LPDDR5 memory, and a 512GB SSD, 15.6-inch Full HD 120Hz screen, Wi-Fi, and ports for basic connectivity, including one USB 3.2 Gen 1 port, one USB-C 3.2 Gen 1 port, one USB 2.0 port, and a universal audio jack? If so, then this act of supposed “generosity” on behalf of Michael Dell would in fact constitute no more than some form of sophisticated tax dodge, would it not?

Luigi Mangione might suspect so, and this is why anti-corporate America so loves him. With a mind so well-wired for fraud as that, is it possible that Mr. Dell is actually a Somali? The distressing evidence detailed below may well suggest so…

MINNESOTA THINS
One man who definitely must own a fantastic and affordable Dell 15 laptop is Donald Trump, who has been making an unusually large number of posts on social media lately even for him—yet another advantage of that superb AMD Ryzen 3 7320U processor.

According to one analysis, at one point on the night of Dec. 1, he made 400 posts within the space of an hour, making sensational claims such as that Michelle Obama “controlled Biden’s autopen” during his presidency to sign executive orders into law, meaning she was the true secret president during this period, but that Biden himself was simultaneously also somehow the true secret leader of Venezuela’s Tren de Aragua drug cartel. What drug was he importing? Aricept? Or maybe even Ditropan.

Trump has been accused by critics of demonstrating clear signs of cognitive decline and needing a nice big dose of Aricept himself for pumping out such crap, but not all his posts were retarded—particularly not the one accusing Democrat governor of Minnesota Tim Walz of being “seriously retarded.” That was in fact seriously detarded, if that’s even a word. Even if it isn’t, Trump was still quite correct.

Why was Tim a ’tard? Maybe because his mother had married her own brother, like his favorite fellow mentally defective Minnesota Democrat Ilhan Omar is supposed to have done for the purposes of gaining fraudulent U.S. citizenship. At least, that’s the kind of thing Trump has tweeted while high on Alzheimer’s pills in the past. So fond of defective DNA is Walz, typed Trump, that Tim did his best to flood Minnesota with an entire army of Somali spastics, deliberately allowing a sudden influx of hundreds of thousands of special-needs jihadis (they think they can be serial suicide bombers) to march in there and take over the whole state.

Trump does not very much like Somalia. As he argued:

We give billions of dollars to Somalia. It’s not even a country because it doesn’t function like a country. It’s got a name but it doesn’t function like a country.

To be fair, these days that very same highly dismissive assessment could also apply to “countries” like Great Britain, France, Germany…and America itself.

According to the latest allegations against Walz, he supposedly deliberately looked the other way and tried to cover it all up when various con men from among Minnesota’s 80,000-strong Somali retard community performed a (surprisingly clever) financial scam in which money ostensibly raised to donate to hungry African immigrant children actually went toward fattening up their own bank accounts. Expecting Africans to feed themselves never did work out too well, did it?

Minnesota social services whistleblowers allege Walz was “100 percent responsible” for the $1B fraud, as he just did not want to admit his precious illegal-immigrant Moomin client-voters might possibly have been up to no good. Trump agrees and has smeared all Somali immigrants into America—Ilhan Omar and her husband-brother, in particular—as “garbage.” For this he has predictably been smeared himself, as a racist, and compared with wearying predictability to Adolf Hitler.

What a load of rubbish. How can this mean Trump is in any way a racist? Don’t these people know that Adolf Hitler is black?