December 29, 2014

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7. Janelle Lynn Martel
Those whose identities are founded in victimization find themselves increasingly flustered and stymied by a culture that shows no interest in victimizing them. Hence Ms. Martel, a lesbian living in Maine with an oyster-gobbling partner named Lizzy Snyder, fabricated a story in which five nonwhite youths beat her and called her anti-Sapphic epithets. After an investigation, detectives concluded that Martel was both the physical and verbal aggressor against the atypically well-behaved quintet of nonwhite males. Yet again, the lobsters are laughing”€”loudly.

6. Douglas Perry
Whereas transsexuals and transvestites had been at least somewhat amusing for millennia, 2014 was the year that they went full-blown pro with being insanely militant and annoying. Douglas Perry, a suspected serial killer accused of slaying three prostitutes in 1990, now calls himself “€œDonna”€ and suggests that it may have been the evil male Douglas, rather than the newly empowered and genitally mutilated Donna, who committed the killings.

According to an affidavit, Perry stated:

I’m not going to admit I killed anybody, I didn’t. Donna has killed nobody….I don’t know if Doug did or not, it was 20 years ago and I have no idea whether he did or did not.

5. Timothy Boatwright
If Roger Ebert had spawned a fat lesbian daughter, it would look something like the gender-confused mess that calls herself Timothy Boatwright. Ms. Timmy squeaked onto the student rolls of all-female Wellesley College before outing herself as an imaginary male, whereupon other students protested against her bid to become the school’s multicultural affairs coordinator because it was deemed “€œinappropriate”€ to have a white male occupying that position.

4. Tyt”€™ana Lisa-Nicole Johnson
I find few things more linguistically annoying than the rampant use of apostrophes in modern black naming practices, so the very idea that someone would call themselves “€œTyt”€™ana”€ makes my blood boil. There is also no possible logical defense for using the hyphen between “€œLisa”€ and “€œNicole.”€

The seventeen-year-old Ms. Johnson’s grandmother, who bears the great old-school black name of Gaylon Moody, was cooking her granddaughter some collard greens earlier this year. Little Tyt”€™ana had apparently suffered a revocation of her cell-phone privileges for unspecified acts of misconduct. She now stands accused of attempted murder for allegedly spiking the vat of greens with insecticide and termiticide while Grandma Moody was at church attending Easter services. What an ingrate!

3. Victoria Stiviano
Over the years, former owner of the Los Angeles Clippers Donald Sterling likely created more black millionaires than all government programs throughout history combined. Yet his gold-digging ho of a mistress, Victoria Stiviano, brought Sterling’s basketball empire crashing down”€”and made Sterling the most hated man in America“€”when she released audiotapes of him pathetically asking her not to bring young black Mandingo studs with her to Clippers games, thereby humiliating him sexually in his wrinkly, toad-like dotage. It mattered not that the half-black Stiviano had been recorded on tape saying things about blacks that were objectively more demeaning than anything Sterling had said. She achieved fame and money in the most despicable of ways”€”by destroying someone else.

2. Suey Park
Comedian Stephen Colbert made a name for himself by lampooning a clueless, Fox News-style conservative pundit. This spring he made a clumsy joke about Asians that was obviously intended not to demean Asians but to demean white men who make clumsy jokes about Asians. Outraged for all the wrong reasons, self-proclaimed activist and comedian Suey Park launched the Twitter hashtag #CancelColbert and gave an interview with Salon that contained the following nuggets of abject cluelessness and anti-white racism cloaked as anti-racism:

I think as a result of the white ally industrial complex, for too long people of color have been asked to censor whiteness, they have been asked to educate their oppressor, they have been asked to use the right tone, and appease their politics in order to be heard. And in an effort to just contribute to the self-improvement of white allies that are often times just racist….I always paint my white characters to be singular, to be ignorant….I don”€™t want them on our side….This is not reform, this is revolution….Whiteness will always be the enemy.

Guess who didn”€™t get a Christmas card from me this year?

1. Devin Giamou
With all due respect to Taki Mag’s disproportionately large stable of Canadian writers (all two of you), I generally find Canadians annoying. Not only is their galloping anti-Americanism an obvious case of jealousy, they tend to be far worse than the most stridently leftist Americans when it comes to having fallen under Cultural Marxism’s demon spell.

To make some sort of “€œpoint”€ about racism and xenophobia, non-Muslim Canuck Devin Giamou helped set up a film prank where he acted like an intolerant Islamophobe at an Ottawa bus stop. He wound up getting punched in the face and then posed piously for pictures with blood streaming from his nose. It is the most disgustingly ethnomasochistic image of the year and makes me wish that the fleas of a thousand camels would infest his armpits in perpetuity.

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