August 05, 2014

Source: Shutterstock

The sun is setting on the Gallic bump-ire, and, according to French Elle, the cover-up culprits include the “€œ”€˜pornified”€™ perception of topless women,”€ skin cancer worries, and, well, far left “€œactivists”€ FEMEN, whose bare-breasted protests have “€œpoliticized”€ the practice. Or something.

Whatever the reason, the percentage of young French women sunbathing seins nus has now drooped to an oddly appropriate two.

As for the old ones”€”wasn”€™t it Sartre who declared that hell is other people’s saggy jugs? See, while younger, more health- (and social media-) conscious gals are keeping their tops tied, the soixante-huitards are still baring it (almost) all. Typically, they”€™re clinging to yet another symbol of their generation’s old-fashioned “€œmodernity”€ and low-risk “€œcourage.”€

Much as I despise overregulation, breasts really are one”€”or is that two?”€”of those objects that should come stamped with “€œbest before”€ dates.

Since it’s French and all, the women’s liberation “€œphilosophy”€ behind toplessness never made sense anyhow: “€œI”€™m NOT a sex object, as you (and everyone else) can plainly see”€”and see and see”€”by my awesome naked boobies!”€

Anyhow, Elle is skirting the issue. Being a chronic right-winger, I”€™m positive that France’s metastasizing Muslim population is mostly to blame for the demise of this once-proud cultural touchstone”€”precisely because infidel magazines like Elle would never voice such a “€œfascist”€ opinion in the first place.

Not that anybody in Paris cares what I think. They aren”€™t even reading this. They may leave their tops on these days, but I hear they still take August off.



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