May 16, 2014

Adolf Hitler

Adolf Hitler

Source: Shutterstock

Nobody wants laws that prohibit anyone from attaining any position. Very few of us want laws that ensure that everyone is represented in every field. There are not a lot of gay golfers. If affirmative action tried to rectify this, golf would suffer. Is there a person on earth who doesn”€™t want an incredibly talented gay man to golf professionally? Yes, he’s senile and his name’s Artie. He”€™ll be dead in a year.

“€œAre you denying that people are reviled by homosexuality?”€ ask most people to whom I confess. “€œOf course not,”€ I reply. Homosexuality is weird. Sex is weird. I dread the day I have to explain to my daughter that babies are made when Daddy’s penis becomes engorged with blood and he inserts it into Mom’s vagina until a very unusual fluid explodes into her body. Have you ever watched porn right after you”€™re done masturbating? It’s horrific. “€œWhat is wrong with these animals?”€ I”€™ll often say with a tissue in one hand as I close my computer. When you add exclusive butt sex to this equation you have an unusual situation. I think it’s okay to call it a sin just like alcoholism and coveting thy neighbor’s wife is a sin. It’s like being a vegetarian lion. You have fangs for ripping meat but you don”€™t want to. Nobody’s out to kill vegetarian lions or deny them any place in the workforce. Oh, but the CEO of an Internet provider once floated some bucks to an anti-gay marriage group. How is that proof he’s anti-gay? I know plenty of homos who are against gay marriage. This is the best we can do for gay-bashing? In the rest of the world it’s a capital offense. Here, you have to dig into someone’s charity to find something to shake your homophobic stick at.

The problem with these three -isms not existing, however, is that there is a massive industry devoted to them. Organizations like the NAACP and GLAAD and the entire feminist movement need villains. I”€™d wager the majority of college classes would be a complete waste of time without these issues. So, we create monsters where there are none. That’s the only way to make them exist and, ironically, it’s proof they don”€™t exist. If you”€™re looking for injustice, leave the Western world.

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