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THE GREAT CHINESE FEMALE ARMPIT HAIR CONTEST
At press time, an estimated 40 hairy-pitted Chinese women have posted photos of their armpit hair to Weibo, which is China’s microblogging equivalent of Twitter. This photo competition will yield six winners, who will be awarded prizes such as “€œcondoms, vibrators and a pedestal urinal that a woman can use while standing.”€

The contest’s feminist promoters claim to be doing this not because they”€™re exhibitionists or just plain weird, but because the right to grow and display female armpit hair is a crucial feminist issue and a sane way to protest rape, misogyny, and domestic violence.

And still they wonder why so many of us think that chicks are crazy.

BLACK MEN DISPROPORTIONATELY AFFECTED BY BREAST CANCER
A recent study has revealed the shocking statistic that early-stage breast cancer presents “€œa 76% greater risk for death“€ among young black men than it does young white men. As a footnote, an article touting the study admitted that once the stats were adjusted for income and insurance, there were no statistical differences among the races. Basically, they just wanted to create the impression that our society unfairly hates and discriminates against young black males”€™ breasts.

AFRICAN LESBIAN UNDERGOES EXORCISM, REMAINS LESBIAN
Growing up as a tomboy in Uganda, Judith Twikirize claims to have been whisked away age 10 by her grandmother to a witch doctor to cure her of suspected lesbian tendencies. She says the witch doctor performed weekly exorcisms for a year that sometimes involved cutting her deeply with razors. She also claims that when villagers learned of her lesbian relationship with another girl, they fatally poisoned the girl. Twikirize, now 24, has been granted asylum in the UK. Despite the witch doctor’s efforts, she remains a lesbian.

CURING YOUR PREJUDICE WHILE YOU SLEEP
Despite the fact we at Taki’s Mag have proved it’s an unscientific fraud, the Implicit Association Test is still used by so-called scientists to allegedly measure a person’s unconscious biases.

Researchers are now claiming that they can reduce a person’s racial and gender biases by bombarding subjects”€™ ears with “€œunusual frequency-modulated sounds“€ while they sleep. They claim that after receiving the Brave New World-styled sleep therapy, newly awakened and freshly brainwashed subjects score lower on the Implicit Association Test’s bias scales.

Test subjects were selected because they articulated a willingness to reduce their unconscious racial and gender biases, which makes one question how they were aware these biases existed if they were indeed unconscious. “€œIt’s not clear whether the process would have the same results if it was used in an attempt to override someone’s will,”€ writes a reporter, but you can be sure that these earnest “€œscientists”€ are feverishly working on foolproof ways to override everyone’s will.