February 02, 2015
SPIELBERG WARNS OF RISING DANGER TOWARD JEWS
Director Steven Spielberg is a Jewish filmmaker who once dared to make a film that said the Holocaust was bad. Despite taking such a risky stance amid a culture steeped in anti-Semitism, the film went on to win the Academy Award for Best Picture.
In Poland last week on the eve of Holocaust Memorial Day, Spielberg felt it incumbent upon himself to deliver a speech in front of Holocaust survivors who, to put it indelicately, must really be getting up in years.
Citing an alleged uptick in “anti-Semitism” on social media, Spielberg bewailed that the Jews”despite all the wars they”ve won and movies they”ve made”are constantly imperiled by “the perennial demons of intolerance.” Referring to these demons, Spielberg said: “These people want to all over again strip you of your past, of your story and of your identity.”
In addition to his award-winning film about how the Holocaust was uncool, Spielberg has made other film dramas that suggest black slavery was bad, that Abraham Lincoln was a decent fellow, and that space aliens are cuddly.
MICHAEL MOORE BLUBBERS ABOUT CLINT EASTWOOD’s DEATH THREAT
Severely overweight leftist filmmaker Michael Moore is known for making documentaries whose obvious agenda is to justify the very existence of severely overweight leftist filmmakers.
Moore has recently put down the hoagies and donuts long enough to criticize the Clint Eastwood film American Sniper. He claims it “perpetuates a racist sentiment to Arabs.” Moore has also has described Eastwood’s excellent Gran Torino as “awful (and weirdly racist).”
Moore has recently come forward to verify rumors that ten years ago at the National Board of Review dinner, Eastwood told Moore that he”d “kill“ him if he were to show up at Eastwood’s front door with a film crew. Moore is doing this to win sympathy and deflect attention from the quite obvious fact that Eastwood would easily defeat him in a fight.
THE DAY THE POPE BECAME A WETBACK
Pope Francis is not only “the world’s first Latin American pontiff,” he also veers toward Marxist rhetoric more than any pope in memory. While on a plane flying back from the Philippines, he announced to a group of reporters that he may cross the Mexican border into America as a gesture that he supports illegal immigration and has no respect for national borders:
To enter the U.S. from the Mexico border would be a beautiful sign of brotherhood and help for immigrants.
One can only hope that His Holiness does not soil his vestments while crossing the mighty Rio Grande.
MAN: I WAS BEATEN AND CALLED A DIRTY FAGGOT
Dutch train conductor Bert Roberti claims that last Sunday night someone called him a “dirty faggot“ before sucker-punching him in the back of the head and eventually beating him into unconsciousness. At press time we were unable to verify whether Roberti is either dirty or a faggot. We did, however, run “dirty faggot” through Google Translate, and if you want to call someone a “dirty faggot” in Dutch, it appears that the proper term would be vuile flikker.