Donald Trump

Source: Wikimedia Commons

WAS HITLER A ZIONIST?
Former London Mayor Ken Livingstone has been suspended by England’s Labour Party”€”as well as being “disgraced” and called a “disgusting racist””€” for alleging that prior to World War II, Adolf Hitler was a supporter of Zionism.

Now, even though neither incident may qualify as “Zionism” proper, it is true that in 1933’s Haavara Agreement, Nazi Germany and the Zionist Federation of Germany signed a contract enabling German Jews to relocate to what was then known as Palestine. It is also true that for years the Nazis worked on a so-called Madagascar Plan to relocate German Jews to that wild and woolly island off the East African coast. Unless any of our beloved commenters can provide contrary evidence, it also seems to be true that there is far more historical documentation for the Haavara Agreement and the Madagascar Plan than there is for that whole “Final Solution” thingamabob, but merely to point out this fact is to risk being called an anti-Semite, so we’re not even gonna go there.

WOMAN WHO DRIVES “€œFAGBUG”€ CLAIMS SHE WAS PHYSICALLY ATTACKED
Erin Davies is a rather plain thirty-eight-year-old lesbian who claims that in 2007, an unidentified homophobic hatemonger spray-painted the words “fag” and “u r gay” onto her Volkswagen Beetle. Rather than be shamed into permanent lesbian silence and possible lifelong clerical work as a librarian, Davies christened her vehicle the “fagbug,” painting it in screamingly faggy rainbow colors with a personalized “fagbug” logo on the driver’s door. She drove her fagbug through all 50 states and filmed two documentaries while lecturing ordinary Americans about how a brightly colored Volkswagen Beetle may finally nudge everyone into celebrating the mental image of two women licking one another like stray alley cats lapping at abandoned sardine tins.

But over nine years of flaunting her fagbug all across America, Davies claims that she was never physically assaulted. She says that all changed recently in Syracuse, NY during an alleged incident at a post office wherein a 49-year-old man named Casey White spat on the floor, called her a “bitch,” and threatened to kill her. Davies also said the man asked her why she drives a car called the fagbug.

It is unclear whether the alleged assailant freaked out because he hates fags or because he hates people who use the word “fag.” But what’s clear as a bell is that after a nine-year dry spell, Erin Davies has a legitimate reason to feel persecuted again. It only goes to show that there’s a pot of gold at the end of every hate crime.