September 27, 2016

Source: Bigstock

I”€™d go on, but Canadian poet David Solway’s crabby take on this “€œorgiastic sobfest”€ cannot be bettered. (Not surprisingly, it was published by an American outlet.)

And then it was over. Finally.

Except until it wasn”€™t.

Before you could say, “€œHow can I miss you if you won”€™t go away?”€ Saint Downie the Dying was back in the news, cuz oh hey didn”€™t we mention? He’s got a new project.

Turns out he’s written a book (and an album, and a CBC special) about an Indian boy who ran away from a residential school fifty years ago and died. (Residential schools being those evil places where nuns and priests committed the horrible crime of teaching aboriginal kids to read and write“€”a project, by the way, that was considered THE progressive thing to do back then.) 

Oh, and care to make a donation to the Gord Downie Secret Path Fund for Truth and Reconciliation? (Yep, Canada has its own South Africa-inspired

extortion of white suckas

national racial healing project, which”€™ll be as super-duper successful as the original.)

Now, remember: Cultural appropriation is bad.

Jewish guy Steven Spielberg had no business making The Color Purple, right? White girl Gwen Stefani was a bitch for wearing an Indian headdress? And why should this Halloween be different from any other? Disney is “€œunder fire for “€˜full body brownface”€™ Moana Halloween costume,”€ and it’s not even October.

So here’s my point: Gord Downie is no more an Indian than “€œGrey Owl.”€ (And guess what? When I Googled “€œGrey Owl”€ to provide you with background, the Historica page presented me with a pop-up about…Downie’s new project!)

Surely the proprietors of Indian, Inc.”€”the chiefs whose annual salaries are, in some cases, higher than the prime minister’s (with the added bonus of being tax-free)”€”are denouncing this presumptuous, pretentious, pale-faced “€œrock star’s”€ white privilege, eh? How dare he write about one of their own? 

Ha, no. 

They think he’s a hero.

Because all the money this project makes is going into these race hustlers”€™ already bulging coffers.

Anyhow, while I was writing this, the body of a Native woman painter of some repute was dragged from the Ottawa River. Another day, another dead Indian. I doubt Maclean’s will devote half their next issue to her, or even put her on the cover. But what do I know? I”€™m just an evil white racist.

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