Joe Bob Briggs

Joe Bob Briggs

Joe Bob Briggs is the drive-in movie critic of Grapevine, Texas, currently resident in New York City, where his pop culture commentary appears in print, on television and at various dive bars that defy the modern world by allowing the smoking of cigars.

Joe Bob's America

Poles Are for Penguins and Polar Bears

Mar 14 2019

COLUMBUS, OH—Let’s talk about this word polarization. There’s no such thing. Stop saying it. Nobody lives at the poles except polar bears and penguins, and

Cultural Caviar

The Atheists Get Cross-Eyed

Mar 07 2019

NEW YORK—Seven miles down the road from the Supreme Court—about a 15-minute taxi ride—is a 40-foot concrete World War I memorial known as the Peace

Cultural Caviar

You People Need to Get Nekkid

Feb 28 2019

NEW YORK—Somebody finally found a decent explanation for why people under 30 are so goldurn grumpy. They’re not having sex. Kate Julian, a senior editor


Gillette Can Kiss My Smooth Cheeks

Feb 21 2019

NEW YORK—The Gillette Fusion5 ProShield is such an amazing razor that I’m willing to stand in the middle of CVS Pharmacy and wait as long

Cultural Caviar

Dusky Gopher Frog

The Dusky Gopher Frog and Me

Feb 14 2019

NEW YORK—Ever since his setback before the Supreme Court, I’ve been walking around New York City looking for inviting mud puddles where the Dusky Gopher

Cultural Caviar

Julie Adams

Julie Adams Made the World Safe for Teenage Monsters

Feb 07 2019

DALLAS—Not long ago, at a little horror convention in New Jersey, I hosted interviews with some of the most famous stunners in B-movie history—all of

Cultural Caviar

Abraham Lincoln

The Covington Smile Is the Mona Lisa of 2019 America

Jan 31 2019

DALLAS—Whoever took the photo of the Covington Catholic High School kid holding that painful smile during the face-down with the Omaha tribal elder at the

Cultural Caviar

I Decide Who Gets Into College

Jan 24 2019

NEW YORK—Okay, the easiest solution to this whole college admissions controversy is to send all the applications to me and I’ll go through them and

Cultural Caviar

Nina Stirs Things Up in Wisconsin

Jan 17 2019

NEW YORK—Well, the neo-Puritans have struck again. A few weeks ago my old friend Nina Hartley was blogging about how she’d just spent a pleasant

Cultural Caviar

Herb Kelleher and the Flying Bus

Jan 10 2019

NEW YORK—My only conversation with Herb Kelleher happened in the mid-’70s, before he was famous, when he hunted me down through my editor at Texas

Joe Bob's America

Heather Nauert

How Can THAT WOMAN Know Anything?

Jan 03 2019

NEW YORK—The journalists are furious. (For those of you just tuning in, I don’t defame the reputations of real reporters and newsmen with the froufrou

Joe Bob's America

Closed? No Hurry. I’ll Come Back.

Dec 27 2018

DALLAS—What if the country shut down and nobody gave a flip? Entering day 6 of “The United States Is Closed,” I’m not seeing much evidence

Cultural Caviar

Free the Nunchucks!

Dec 20 2018

KATY, Tex.—The most amazing thing about Federal Judge Pamela Chen’s ruling on Monday that nunchakus are a legal weapon in America is that they’ve been

Cultural Caviar

Run Run Rudolph

Dec 13 2018

NEW YORK—Everyone’s talking about the article in the Huffington Post that has shown us the racism, homophobia, child abuse, bullying, sexism, and exploitation of the

Cultural Caviar

Which Part of This Performance Art Space Is the Actual Hotel Room?

Dec 06 2018

MINNEAPOLIS—Do you ever walk into a hotel room in a strange city and get the feeling you’ve been invited to a sleepover at a 1960s-style

Cultural Caviar

Suntory Hibiki

500 Years of Moonshine Might, You Know, Taste Better

Nov 29 2018

PHILADELPHIA—Lately I’ve been performing in the state that went to war over whiskey—the Whiskey Rebellion lasted longer than World War II and had several Barley

Joe Bob's America

Jim Acosta

The Media Shouldn’t Whine to the Courts

Nov 22 2018

NEW YORK—I don’t like it when newspapers or TV networks go whining to the courts. And it’s for a very selfish reason. The media in

Cultural Caviar

Resisting the Campus Speech Nazis

Nov 15 2018

DENVER—Every time I perform, I start out with a few comments about Safe Spaces and Trigger Warnings. 
I flash onto the screen a picture of

Cultural Caviar

Be Kind to Your Stripper

Nov 08 2018

NEW YORK—They just passed a new policy at Under Armour, the giant sports-apparel company with the cool corporate headquarters facing Baltimore Harbor: No more business

Cultural Caviar

Leave Harvard Alone

Nov 01 2018

NEW YORK—I can’t believe this, but I’m about to defend Harvard. Four years ago a group of Asian-Americans sued Harvard, claiming the college’s admissions policies


I’m Calling for a Stupidity Boycott

Oct 25 2018

AUSTIN—I think I have to boycott Kimberly-Clark. I’m sorry, guys. I know you’re a $46 billion company with 43,000 employees doing business in 175 countries,

Joe Bob's America

The Apathy Party

Oct 18 2018

SAN ANTONIO—In my college days I was a card-carrying member of the Apathy Party. Each year we would nominate “Mr. Commodore” for student government president,

Cultural Caviar

The New Standard of Lifetime Detention Hall

Oct 11 2018

DALLAS—The most amazing thing to me about the Kavanaugh Mess was the thousands of hours spent on psychoanalyzing his high school years. If anybody ever

Cultural Caviar

Okay, Coach, Then Don’t Feed Your Football Team

Oct 04 2018

NEW YORK—The reason I stopped being a sportswriter was that I could no longer deal with the concept of the coach’s interview. Since I was

Cultural Caviar

The Supreme Yacht Club

Sep 27 2018

NEW YORK—The problem with the Supreme Court is not any of the things being talked about today during the millions of monologues, speeches, network stand-ups,


Who Needs the Oscars?

Sep 20 2018

LEXINGTON, Ky.—Two hundred years from now an anthropologist will go through the digital archives of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and he’ll