Joe Bob Briggs

Joe Bob Briggs

Joe Bob Briggs is the drive-in movie critic of Grapevine, Texas, currently resident in New York City, where his pop culture commentary appears in print, on television and at various dive bars that defy the modern world by allowing the smoking of cigars.


Cultural Caviar

Torch Those Bikinis!

Jun 14 2018

NEW YORK—I don’t know about you, but I’m circling my calendar and stocking whiskey for the night of September 10, when ABC will go prime-time

Cultural Caviar

Falcon 7X

God Apparently Flies First Class

Jun 07 2018

MARSHALL, Tex.—The most frightening thing about Jesse Duplantis is that I think he truly believes what he’s saying. I mean, at some deep, deep level,

Commerce

“Hey, Look, I’m Driving a Giant iPhone!”

May 31 2018

NEW YORK—Question: How can you tell the difference between Elon Musk and an ordinary Tesla owner? Answer: Elon Musk will eventually stop talking about his

Cultural Caviar

My Name Is Joe Bob, and I’m an English Major

May 24 2018

JUPITER, Fla.—I feel like I need to confess my addiction, like a newbie in a 12-step program. My name is Joe Bob, and I’m an

Cultural Caviar

Buffalo Bill

The Gloom and Doom Generation

May 17 2018

WEST ORANGE, N.J.—When I was a young man, and the editor, or the producer, or the executive, would tell me that he was about to

Joe Bob's America

THESE Are Mueller’s Questions?

May 10 2018

PORT ORCHARD, Wash.—So, yeah, it’s kind of obvious why Robert Mueller’s “secret questions that he wants to ask Trump” got leaked to the New York

Cultural Caviar

Hunter S. Thompson

Why It Was So Easy to Nuke the White House Media Stuffed-Shirt Dinner

May 03 2018

NEW YORK—Leave it to a bunch of self-important self-righteous self-serious journalists to miss the whole point. (That’s what they call themselves. They prefer the French

Cultural Caviar

Yo! Gwyneth! Shut Up!

Apr 26 2018

NEW YORK—Several hundred emails pour in each week asking me about the Joe Bob Wellness Regimen. People wanna know, “How do you do it, Joe

Commerce

Scott Pruitt

Reviewing the Plots Against the Clean Water/Clean Air Guy

Apr 19 2018

NEW YORK—At first I was just like everyone else. Why would Scott Pruitt, the head of the Environmental Protection Agency, need twelve extra highly trained

Commerce

San Francisco Hugs a Possum

Apr 12 2018

CHATTANOOGA, Tenn.—Just when those New Zealand possum jackets started to take off, San Francisco had to go and ban fur. Actually, they didn’t ban all

Cultural Caviar

I’m a Terrible Person

Apr 05 2018

STAUNTON, Va.—I just recently realized that I’m a miserable selfish tone-deaf insensitive creep. Why didn’t I see this before? All those years of reading the

Joe Bob's America

Just How Naive Is Robert Mueller?

Mar 29 2018

NEW YORK—I’ve been reading this indictment of the thirteen people who supposedly disrupted the 2016 election. Are you kidding me? These are intelligence agents. I

Cultural Caviar

Invasion of the Anti-Tourists

Mar 22 2018

NEW YORK—A stroll down Bleecker Street, once a haven for bars, nightclubs, Off Broadway theaters, Mafia hangouts, beatnik cafés, and weird secondhand shops, has recently

Cultural Caviar

Smoking, Toking and Midnight Joking

Mar 15 2018

NEW YORK—Now that we have all these legal weed growers, plus all these legal middlemen making brownies and lozenges and Maryjane Chewies, plus all the

Cultural Caviar

Spiritual But Not Religious, Just Inane

Mar 08 2018

NEW YORK—“I’m spiritual but not religious.” WTF. Why do people say this? Yes, we know you’re spiritual. Everybody is spiritual. Mafia hitmen are spiritual. We’re

Cultural Caviar

Joseph Wapner

When Did Real Courts Become TV Courts?

Mar 01 2018

NEW YORK—If anybody in the reality TV world remembers Judge Wapner, the original host of The People’s Court, I doubt that they remember what he

Cultural Caviar

Making My Peace With Billy Graham

Feb 22 2018

NEW YORK—Back in the bad old days of the cocaine epidemic, there was a sheriff in Jasper County, Texas, who was visited one morning by

Cultural Caviar

Clarence Thomas

Clarence Thomas and the Party House

Feb 15 2018

NEW YORK—I think Clarence Thomas made the right decision in the Wild Party House Case before the Supreme Court, but I think maybe my reasons

Cultural Caviar

A World of Hurt in the Boardroom

Feb 08 2018

NEW YORK—Apparently a whole bunch of CEOs and public officials and celebrities and high sheriffs of various sorts have been writhing around in their mahogany

Cultural Caviar

James Dean in Giant

Explicating the Bible of Texas

Feb 01 2018

DALLAS—My buddy Don Graham just finished a book on the State Bible of Texas. I speak, of course, of Giant, the 1956 multigenerational epic starring

Cultural Caviar

Please, It’s a Horror Film

Jan 25 2018

CHICAGO—For the first couple months after Get Out was released, I was beating the drums for it, telling anyone who would listen that it was

Cultural Caviar

Susan Cabot

The Wasp Woman’s Weapon Was a Wasp Waist

Jan 18 2018

NEW YORK—I walked down 8th Street yesterday, past the jumble of little secondhand shops and shoe stores and stand-up lunch counters and trendy bodegas, looking

Commerce

“Nuke That Rascal’s Website”

Jan 11 2018

NEW YORK—Every day somebody howls for the shutdown of a website, the squelching of a Twitter account, the nuking of a Facebook page, the removal

Joe Bob's America

“Your Honor, the President Is Acting Like He’s in Charge and We Want It Stopped”

Jan 04 2018

NEW YORK—Small children on the playground know that if you can’t win an argument any other way, you always play the faulty-research card, as in:

Cultural Caviar

Men of Bad Will

Dec 28 2017

NEW YORK—“Men of good will” is an expression you don’t hear much anymore. It’s used mostly by the courts, especially when the topic is contract

Cultural Caviar

Have Your Cake But Don’t Eat It

Dec 21 2017

NEW YORK—If you’re having a gay wedding, and your cake has been baked by a man who thinks gay marriage is an abomination against God,