Cultural Caviar

The Week That Perished

Apr 21 2019

The Week’s Most Defamatory, Inflammatory, and Confirmatory Headlines IS FRANCE BURNING? One needed the sentience of a rock to be able to ignore the deep

Cultural Caviar

Julian Assange

The Week That Perished

Apr 14 2019

The Week’s Stingiest, Mingiest, and Whingiest Headlines JULIAN ASSANGE ARRESTED Master hacker and exotic dancer Julian Assange has been holed up in London’s Ecuadorian Embassy

Cultural Caviar

The Week That Perished

Apr 07 2019

The Week’s Most Wheezing, Teasing, and Displeasing Headlines AMERICA LOSES ITS RELIGION According to the recently released General Social Survey, Americans who identify with no

Cultural Caviar

Jussie Smollett

The Week That Perished

Mar 31 2019

The Week’s Most Screwy, Gooey, and Jewy Headlines BLACK/GAY/JEWISH HATE-CRIME HOAXER WALKS FREE Just when you thought the arc of the moral universe was bending

Cultural Caviar

Morris Dees

The Week That Perished

Mar 24 2019

The Week’s Most Grueling, Mewling, and Befooling Headlines TROUBLE AT THE POVERTY PALACE The Southern Poverty Law Center is misnamed for the following reasons: 1)

Cultural Caviar

Bernie Sanders



The Week That Perished

Mar 17 2019

The Week’s Most Bathetic, Emetic, and Splenetic Headlines AS YOUNG AMERICANS EMBRACE SOCIALISM, BERNIE SANDERS WALKS INTO A GLASS SHOWER DOOR, REQUIRING STITCHES An exclusive

Cultural Caviar

Joe Biden

The Week That Perished

Mar 10 2019

The Week’s Most Divided, Misguided, and Lopsided Headlines BIDEN’S PAST BITES HIM IN THE ASS Joe Biden is an unnecessary politician from an unnecessary place

Cultural Caviar

The Week That Perished

Mar 03 2019

The Week’s Sleepiest, Weepiest, and Creepiest Headlines TAKE AMERICA’S HATS AGAIN In a national epidemic of “soft lynching” that seems designed to degrade and humiliate,

Cultural Caviar

Nick Sandmann

The Week That Perished

Feb 24 2019

The Week’s Most Surly, Squirrely, and Girly Headlines COVINGTON KID SUES WASHINGTON POST FOR $250 MILLION Until it was buried under the avalanche of publicity

Cultural Caviar

The Week That Perished

Feb 17 2019

The Week’s Toniest, Stoniest, and Phoniest Headlines TRUMP SIGNS IMMIGRATION BILL, THEN ROLLS IT UP AND STABS SUPPORTERS IN THE BACK WITH IT The main

Cultural Caviar

Liam Neeson

The Week That Perished

Feb 10 2019

The Week’s Most Autistic, Fascistic, and Onanistic Headlines LIAM NEESON’S RACIAL RAPE REVENGE FANTASY Irish-born actor Liam Neeson is famous for saving Jews in Schindler’s

Cultural Caviar

Ralph Northam

The Week That Perished

Feb 03 2019

The Week’s Most Unsuited, Disputed, and Polluted Headlines VIRGINIA GOVERNOR RALPH “COONMAN” NORTHAM REFUSES TO RESIGN Before launching a successful campaign for governor of Virginia

Cultural Caviar

The Week That Perished

Jan 27 2019

The Week’s Most Conceited, Defeated, and Maltreated Headlines CALIFORNIA AQUARIUM SHAMED FOR FAT-SHAMING AN OTTER If your personal struggle to achieve social justice doesn’t extend

Cultural Caviar

Sergei Polunin

The Week That Perished

Jan 20 2019

The Week’s Most Pensive, Offensive, and Hypertensive Headlines GAY MAFIA HOBBLES “BAD BOY OF BALLET” Ukrainian-born Sergei Polunin is considered one of the world’s finest

Cultural Caviar

The Week That Perished

Jan 13 2019

The Week’s Most Jarring, Marring, and Scarring Headlines SHOULD FAT-SHAMING BE A HATE CRIME? Throughout human history until perhaps the past five years, everyone thought

Cultural Caviar

James Watson

The Week That Perished

Jan 06 2019

The Week’s Most Shameless, Aimless, and Blameless Headlines JAMES WATSON: STILL GLOOMY ABOUT THE PROSPECT OF AFRICA Nobel Prize-winning biologist James D. Watson helped decode

Cultural Caviar

The Week That Perished

Dec 30 2018

The Week’s Stinkiest, Kinkiest, and Dinkiest Headlines LEBRON JAMES APOLOGIZES TO JEWS FOR FALSELY SUGGESTING THEY HAVE A LOT OF MONEY Superstar basketballer and Rhodes

Cultural Caviar

Martina Navratilova

The Week That Perished

Dec 23 2018

The Week’s Rudest, Crudest, and Shrewdest Headlines RUDOLPH THE RACIST, SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC REINDEER Yuletide is upon us, oh ye rosy-cheeked readers, and it wouldn’t be

Cultural Caviar

Bill Kristol

The Week That Perished

Dec 16 2018

The Week’s Most Profane, Insane, and Inhumane Headlines HURRAH! WEEKLY STANDARD SHUTS DOWN Ding-dong, the bloated neocon witch is dead! Bill Kristol, best known the

Cultural Caviar

Pope Francis

The Week That Perished

Dec 09 2018

The Week’s Most Demonic, Sardonic, and Chthonic Headlines POPE TO GAY PRIESTS: TAKE A HIKE In a new book based on an interview he gave

Cultural Caviar

The Week That Perished

Dec 02 2018

The Week’s Cruddiest, Muddiest, and Bloodiest Headlines TWITTER’S GRAND INCREDIBLE TRANS DELUSION If you’re worried about getting banned from Twitter, hard experience has shown us

Cultural Caviar

The Week That Perished

Nov 25 2018

The Week's Most Defective, Subjective, and Corrective Headlines DOG ACCUSED OF RACIST HATE CRIME Since “hate” is an entirely subjective term, it should never be

Cultural Caviar

Michelle Obama

The Week That Perished

Nov 18 2018

The Week’s Most Diverse, Averse, and Perverse Headlines MICHELLE OBAMA: PRETTY, YOU KNOW, LIKE, DUMB Michelle Obama is easily the most famous and beloved big-shouldered

Cultural Caviar

Dennis Hof

The Week That Perished

Nov 11 2018

The Week’s Most Pornographic, Typographic, and Demographic Headlines NEVADA VOTERS ELECT DEAD PIMP As the proprietor of Nevada’s Moonlite Bunnyranch and six other legal brothels,

Cultural Caviar

The Week That Perished

Sep 30 2018

COLLEGE PROGRAMS TEACH MEN TO BE LESS MANLY We live in a world where men, especially white men, feel as if they are entitled to

Cultural Caviar

The Week That Perished

Sep 09 2018

The Week’s Most Lyrical, Empirical, and Satirical Headlines SAUDIS BAN ONLINE SATIRE Saudi Arabia is a proud and noble kingdom known for throwing homosexuals from