The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Nationalistic, Chauvinistic, and Voyeuristic Headlines TRUMP INVADES POLAND Poland is a proud nation in Eastern Europe which has endured endless invasions and ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Nefarious, Precarious, and Hilarious Headlines MULTIPLE STATES RESIST FEDERAL INQUIRY INTO VOTER FRAUD Since every sane and patriotic American is a member of The ...

U.S. Supreme Court

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Delicious, Nutritious, and Seditious Headlines ONWARD AND N-WORD: SUPREME COURT RULES THAT "€œHATE SPEECH"€ IS PROTECTED Relax, America: It's time to start ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Neediest, Greediest, and Seediest Headlines SAY "€œTRANNY"€ IN CANADA, GO TO JAIL The nation of Canada huddles jealously north of the USA and has all the ...

Reality Winner

The Week That Perished

The Week's Leakiest, Sneakiest, and Creakiest Headlines A DELUSIONAL LOSER NAMED REALITY WINNER Yes, her real name is Reality Leigh Winner. Her parents named her that and are ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Belated, Overrated, and Decapitated Headlines BEHEADING KATHY GRIFFIN Kathy Griffin is a post-menopausal comedienne with the face of a brontosaurus who was ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Improficent, Insufficient, and Inefficient Headlines STUDY: ONLY WIMPS SUPPORT SOCIALISM Conventional wisdom has always dictated that socialists tend to be weak, ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Devastating, Irritating, and Isolating Headlines IS YOUR PUG A NAZI? Because racism is problematic"€”easily the most problematic problem on the planet"€”it is ...

James Comey

The Week That Perished

The Week's Choppiest, Floppiest, and Sloppiest Headlines TRUMP FIRES FBI DIRECTOR On May 2 of this year, Hillary Clinton"€”the sorest loser in political history"€”blamed FBI ...

P. G. T. Beauregard

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Mannish, Spanish, and Klannish Headlines BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS: THE SEQUEL As you read this, there may be blood flowing in the streets of New Orleans. Two years ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Detestable, Suggestible, and Indigestible Headlines POP SUPERSTAR ACCUSED OF ENABLING ANTI-SEMITISM Baby-faced pop singer Justin Bieber has earned a ...

Marine Le Pen

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Hurried, Worried, and Curried Headlines FRANCE VOTES ON WHETHER TO COMMIT SUICIDE Today French voters go to the polls in the first round of their presidential ...

Massive Ordnance Air Burst

The Week That Perished

The Week's Snappiest, Crappiest, and Unhappiest Headlines "€œMOTHER OF ALL BOMBS"€ ACCUSED OF SEXISM Fulfilling Donald Trump's campaign promise to "€œbomb the shit out ...

Don Rickles

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Abusive, Intrusive, and Exclusive Headlines HAS TRUMP GONE FULL NEOCON? We regret to inform our readers that last Thursday, Donald Trump authorized the US ...

Maxine Waters

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Dogmatic, Prostatic, and Schismatic Headlines CONGRESSWOMAN's HAIR COMPARED TO JAMES BROWN's, WORLD RECOILS IN RIGHTEOUS HORROR"۬Since 1991, Democratic ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Frightening, Enlightening, and Whitening Headlines CANADIAN GOVERNMENT OFFICIALLY CONDEMNS "€œISLAMOPHOBIA"€ Canada is a nation that hates America because ...


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