The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Defamatory, Declamatory, and Derogatory Headlines PUTIN PULLS A POWER MOVE Fasten your seat belts and take your heart pills, because we may be on the brink ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Political, Hypocritical, and Sodomitical Headlines WILD IN THE STREETS Police and antigovernment protesters clashed on streets across the globe last week. ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Reactive, Unattractive, and Putrefactive Headlines SOUTHERN WORKERS TELL UNION: "€œDROP DEAD"€ The American labor movement"€”or whatever's left of ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Dumb, Glum, and Ho-Hum Headlines OLYMPIAN CONTROVERSIES The Sochi Winter Olympics are underway, and in a world where nothing is apolitical anymore, luges and ice ...

Atlanta, Georgia

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Contemptible, Reprehensible, and Indefensible Headlines ATLANTA's TRAFFIC NIGHTMARE: BLAME THE SNOW BECAUSE IT's WHITE Atlanta"€”a city of barely a half-million ...

Richard Sherman

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Semitic, Parasitic, and Sodomitic Headlines RICHARD SHERMAN's "€œI HAVE A SCREAM"€ SPEECH Martin Luther King Day came and went last Monday. Some missed the ...

Harvey Weinstein

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Demonic, Hedonic, and Ebonic Headlines MARTIN LUTHER KING DIED SO YOU CAN TWERK The majority-black city of Flint, MI"€”rated America’s most ...

Ariel Sharon

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Malicious, Suspicious, and Injudicious Headlines THE LION (OF ISRAEL) SLEEPS TONIGHT After being in a coma that lasted longer than the Holocaust, former ...

Clay Aiken

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Vicious, Pernicious, and Seditious Headlines RINGING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH A BANG Citizens across our wide and bounteously diverse globe celebrated the New ...

Alan Turing

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Acrimonious, Parsimonious, and Sanctimonious Headlines FEDS FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGE “KNOCKOUT” GAME Although incidents of the “knockout ...

Peter O'Toole

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Lurid, Florid, and Horrid Headlines A VERY CRIMINAL CHRISTMAS As the world girds itself for another Christmas"€”with quirky regional twists on the festivities ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Septic, Dyspeptic, and Narcoleptic Headlines GROUNDBREAKING NEW RESEARCH ON OBESITY If you"€™re a black woman who eats tons of hamburgers and guzzles gallons of ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Galling, Appalling, and Caterwauling Headlines WHITE MALES FILE DISCRIMINATION COMPLAINTS In a cultural milieu so utterly inundated with negative ...

The Week That Perished

The Week's Most Fractious, Fatuous, and Vacuous Headlines AMERICANS LOSE FAITH IN ONE ANOTHER, CONTINUE BRAWLING AT WALMART According to a press release on the AP-GfK poll site, ...

Martin Bashir

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Dystopic, Myopic, and Entropic Headlines NEW STUDIES, SAME OLD EVOLUTION A slew of new studies were released last week, many of them only confirming what ...

Rob Ford

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Thankless, Chancrous, and Cantankerous Headlines FINALLY, A WHITE MAYOR WHO SMOKES CRACK The Toronto Star released video of the city’s mayor, a ...


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