The Week’s Most Mummering, Bummering, and Summering Headlines JUNETEENTH PICNIC: FREE KNUCKLE SAMMICHES! In the U.K., the day after Christmas is Boxing Day. In the U.S., the ...

The Week’s Most Eeny, Meeny, and Juneteeny Headlines 31 FLAVORS A SLAVE Juneteenth, a Texas-originated celebration marking the end of slavery, had traditionally been a ...

The Week’s Most Flaying, Fraying, and Flag-Daying Headlines WET BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED It’s back! The parade no one wants. No floats, just flotsam. The marching band ...

The Week’s Roomiest, Zoomiest, and June Gloomiest Headlines THE LONG CON Not since the wife in Gone Girl has someone made such vindictive use of their death. Jimbo Jackson was ...

The Week’s Most Flaying, Spaying, and Memorial Daying Headlines OKAY, WHO CAUSED A TEMPORAL PARADOX? In the Bizarro 1980s (an inverted-reality dimension), Philip Michael Thomas ...

The Week’s Most Burying, Ferrying, and Primarying Headlines ENOUGH WITH THE POLACKS ALREADY Call it the Museum of Intolerance. New York’s Museum of Jewish Heritage has ...

The Week’s Most Ellipsing, Eclipsing, and Apocalypsing Headlines SKULLED LABORERS There are many indicators that you may be living in a crappy country. Frequent coups and ...

The Week’s Most Spaying, Swaying, and Mother’s Daying Headlines WORDS ARE VIOLENCE! (SO IS VIOLENCE) America’s trannies rank among the greatest inventors of our time. True ...

The Week’s Most Husking, Busking, and Elon Musking Headlines BANNED, ON THE RUN The danger in being a merciless tyrant is that if your regime is toppled, those to whom you ...

The Week’s Most Swaying, Braying, and Earth-Daying Headlines BLACK FACE IN BLACKFACE For the professional blackface hunter, that dogged activist who ferrets out and cancels ...

The Week’s Most Shining, Pining, and Passover-Wining Headlines GIVING UP DECENCY FOR LENT Lent used to be about resisting evil. Now one church is making it about giving ...

The Week’s Most Calming, Psalming, and Sunday-Palming Headlines THE BIG APPLE’S GENDERLESS WORMS NYC mayor Eric Adams has a hard life. Like getting court orders to smother ...

The Week’s Most Grueling, Drooling, and April-Fooling Headlines SLAPPY BLACK Once again, an onstage disaster has overshadowed the Best Picture win of a woke film. In 2017, the ...

The Week’s Most Shaking, Baking, and Spring-Breaking Headlines STAR TREK: THE NEXT DEFECATION Sci-fi has a long history of calling things wrong. Blade Runner predicted a 2019 ...

The Week’s Most Raving, Enslaving, and Daylight-Saving Headlines HARMADUKE A world run by dogs wouldn’t be so bad, especially considering the mess humans have made of things. ...

The Week’s Most Caddying, Daddying, and St. Paddying Headlines FAUXPRAH’S BOOK CLUB Leftist author Laurie Penny is half-Irish, half-Jewish. How can you spot an Irish Jew? ...