Skull and Bones Bonesmen

Remembrance of Yale’s Past

We love Yale sluts! “No” means “yes,” and “yes” means “anal”—that’s the beastly braying cry at Yale these days. The frat boys from Delta Kappa Epsilon (G. W. ...

Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger

Affairs, Public and Private

It has been quite a month for philandering. One would be mistaken for thinking Senator John Ensign's abrupt resignation was the scandal of the moment. Instead, with news of one ...

P.J. O'Rourke

Liberal Indigestion

Some thirty years or so ago, my friend P. J. O"€™Rourke came to dinner at my New York house with what was then his new bride. She was beautiful, reserved, intelligent, and after ...

In Praise of Hypocrisy

“Hypocrisie est un hommage que la vice rend à la vertu.” La Rochefoucauld was right. Hypocrisy is the tribute vice pays to virtue. More to the point, virtue ...

Greg Mortenson and family

Three Cups of Bullshit

As someone who just handed his memoirs to Simon & Schuster, I am very sensitive about the concept of fake stories. For example, after writing about a threesome I was sure had ...

Mold Age: The Curse of Modern Medicine

"€œI"€™m ninety-one years old, you know?"€ Bravo. Now have your diuretics and your hot milk drink, take your heart pills and blood-pressure tablets and your fistful of ...

Lara Logan

Why Egypt Is Silent

So Egypt is over. Oh, we"€™ll hear snippets and see some snapshots, but make no mistake, Egypt is over. Why, you ask? Is it because peace is restored? (Hardly.) Is it because ...

You Can”€™t Wax Lyrically About Brazilian Waxing

When a supermarket's decision to put a modesty shield over a magazine cover featuring Elton John, his male lover, and their surrogate baby attracted a fierce backlash from the ...

Rahm Emanuel

Rahm Emanuel’s Tiny Fingers

I believe it is still within my constitutional rights to dislike Rahm Emanuel, but in the spirit of universal fairness which will likely destroy Western civilization, I ...

Brian Williams

A National Conversation About Nothing

So apparently we"€™re all having another "€œnational conversation"€ and "€œexperiencing something together"€ as Egypt unravels. I resent these media characterizations, ...

Christina Aguilera

Oh, Say, Can”€™t You Stop?

Aren"€™t you fed-up with goofy renditions of our national anthem? I refer to the dreadful Miss Aguilera's butchering of "€œOh, say can you see...?"€ at the Super ...

In the Navy!”€”With Gobs of Seamen!

Guess what"€”many gays aren"€™t offended at all by the scandalous USS Enterprise video.  On the contrary, one LGBT website ("€œThe Site with Homosexual Tendencies"€) ...

The Thong Remains the Shame

Semper ubi sub ubi. "€”Juvenal When Dorothy Parker said, "€œBrevity is the soul of lingerie,"€ I don"€™t think she anticipated to what extent the modern woman would ...

Le Jour de Merci Donnant

In the 1960s a kind of sport for us Yanks in Paris was making light of our cheese-eating, surrender-monkey hosts. Dr. Reginald Kernan led the American Mafia at the Travellers ...

Bunky Mortimer’s Upper Class Guide to Drinking, Part II

Now, class, you will remember in this symposium's first installment that we dealt with the dry martini, the pink gin, and the bullshot, the proper cocktails which mark a gentleman ...

Bunky Mortimer’s Upper Class Guide to Drinking

Yes, I"€™m a recovering alcoholic and haven"€™t touched a drop in some time, but whom would you choose to give advice on boozing"€”a water-drinker? Let me deal with that ...


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