January 06, 2011

Natalia Vodianova

Natalia Vodianova

Source: Shutterstock

Leading up to my New Year’s Eve blast I re-read The Ciano Diaries, Count Galeazzo Ciano being Mussolini’s son-in-law and Italy’s Foreign Minister during World War Two. Ciano was a Don Juan but never once mentions women in his writings—the way it should be. Mephitic and mendacious types tried to blacken his name even after his execution by suggesting he was drunk in front of the firing squad and had requested hookers for his last night on Earth. I don’t believe a word of it.

Just as I finished the Diaries, I turned on the TV and Don Giovanni came on, the Jonathan Kent production at Glyndebourne in modern dress. Perfect timing. Reading Ciano, everyone talking about Assange’s women in Sweden, and the great Don on the telly. This production had the most beautiful Elvira ever, and Elvira has always been my favorite because even after the Don is exposed as a rapist, liar, and murderer, she still loves him and feels he can reform. What fools some women are. When the faithful Leporello asks him while they’re on the run why he can’t cool it for a while, the Don tells him that it would be “unfair to other women if he were loyal only to one.” Now that’s what I call a great man—unlike Julian Assange, who has provided a great service but seems sleazy with the fair sex. Don Giovanni, Galeazzo Ciano, and now Julian Assange—it’s a downward trend, wouldn’t you say?

And now for some good news. The Spectator’s sainted editor has assured me in writing that I can marry their deputy editor this year. I know, I know, I’ve been left at the altar three times, but persistence is what seduction is all about. The Don persisted throughout his life—a bit too much in Donna Anna’s case—and showed great courage when the Commandatore’s ghost asked him to repent or burn in hell. Never, says the Don. Richard III persisted with Lady Anne even after she called him a lump of foul deformity. She also called him a devil, a toad, a hedgehog, and a disfigured infection of a man, but his persistence won out. The Spectator’s deputy editor will become Mrs. Taki in the year 2011 or I will follow my hero the Don in fiery hell. Happy New Year!



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