As my basement human-sacrifice room has been looking a little dingy of late and putting off the rest of the coven, I was recently in need of the services of some professional painters and decorators to cover up and dispel all the bloodstains, evaporated adipose, severe smoke damage, and associated effluvia with their magic brushes. Researching some local experts online, I was shocked to discover the exorbitant nature of their hourly rates. “I bet I could hire a prostitute for less money than that!” I thought. Which got me to thinking... Accessing the website of my nearest escort agency, ...
Recently, I read a splendid book, titled Homo cretinus, by the French science journalist and writer Olivier Postel-Vinay, on the subject of human stupidity, a subject as perpetually amusing as ...
When I was a small child, there were two little twin retard girls who used to entertain all the other kids on the housing estate by getting down on all fours and lapping up dog shit from the road in ...
Some years ago, I asked the owner of the Poetry Bookshop in Hay-on-Wye, the only specialist secondhand poetry store in Britain, whether he had any books by poets with one leg. He ...
As the curtain went up on La Bohème, I guessed the point they were making almost immediately, and maybe I even agreed with some of the sentiment at the heart of it. The lead ...
One of the funnier aspects of the articles denouncing my recently restored freedom to speak in public, such as The Atlantic’s and now The Guardian’s, is that they can’t ...
"I didn’t realize repeatedly shooting Jesus in the face could be considered religiously offensive," Says Swiss Muslim Politician. How’s that for clickbait? Well, as this ...
My pronouns are She-rah, Herbal, and Hersheys. I don’t think it’s asking too much to refer to me using those simple terms, which I’ve made up, as I’m legally entitled to ...
Back when I was a child, in a 99.99 percent white school in England, we used to call our Anglo-Saxon peers unfortunate enough to possess excessively curly or frizzy hair ...
Twenty-seven years ago, a British newspaper discovered—I don’t know how—that I hadn’t watched television for twenty-five years. At the time, this seemed almost incredible, ...
From time to time I receive, unsolicited, messages from insurance companies about “how to keep myself safe,” to use an odious modern locution. Mostly they are about the ...
Kate Middleton’s latest video presentation, in which she runs through meadows while telling us how wonderful her cancer journey has been, is just about the most disturbing thing ...
We may never get to see the nine-hour documentary about Prince that Netflix has paid tens of millions for because the late musician’s estate has legally stymied its release. So, ...
I know Tucker Carlson reads me and I know he’s aware of my Holocaust work. Last week Tuck interviewed someone I knew nothing about, a rabbit-looking dweeb named Darryl Cooper. ...
Can Americans today really sleep safely in their own beds at night? Not with so many militant homosexuals wandering around. In late August, the media revealed that a highly ...
We have had an outbreak of golden orioles at my house in France. There are, of course, far worse outbreaks to have, but it is a little frustrating that these beautiful birds (the ...
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