September 18, 2011

The best solution is to make it Europe’s problem. Aye, we must ruin the euro. With its crippling, capital will frantically flee even France and Germany’s relatively healthy economies.

And where is this liquid wealth to find its new happy port? The Orient? While despotic regimes are good places to steal profits, they are seldom wise choices for safeguarding them. To England? Possibly, but unlikely. In the wake of riots in their own capital city which the police seemed unable or unwilling to quell and taxation rates that pilfer ancestral seats from their rightful owners, Great Britain looks not so swell. The Swiss Alps? A haven, to be sure. Yet a small nation surrounded by a large continent in near-apocalyptic economic turmoil would not seem the place to settle down.

Nay, the answer is America! With billions upon billions unto untold trillions unleashed from the Old World with nowhere to retire but the New World, its shores would be a sight to behold.

With such a wave of new money coming in, all the old woes would be washed away. Tidal currents of capital would come through the stock market into America’s supposedly safe confines. People (that is to say, American people) would suddenly feel richer. Soon they (Americans, still) would be purchasing again as never before as the fresh cash rained down. Housing crisis? Automotive bankruptcy?  Near quarter-population unemployment? All gone and forgotten…for a while at least.

With enough unrest in old lands it is even possible that America could pick up some of the manufacturing slack from Europe. More likely, they could pick up some of the manufacturing companies, strip them bare, and ship their components to less “rights-restrictive” nations to set up shops to send things back here to home again.

Even if we don’t begin producing again, we should at least have a whole raft of European refugees to which we might employ our natives to sell and serve things. Thus, a whole cycle of renewal is born.

Everybody (who is American) wins!

Only Old Europe and others holding their now-worthless colored euro-bits would be the losers (though possibly also several of those “Cash for Gold” kiosks one sees so often nowadays).

All that need be done is a little covert work by the world’s best disinformation peddlers (a particularly talented industry which the Americans would never dream of offshoring). A few well-placed rumors, a finely tuned computer mass-selling glitch, or an old-fashioned orchestrated panic would take matters to a profitable conclusion.

There are always unforeseen repercussions. European ethnic strife, wide-scale violence, and the emergence of certain authoritarian regimes would all be likely. Yet what is this compared to purchasing a new automobile that can parallel-park itself?

The best way to save the American economy? Destroy the world economy. An opiate addict’s fantasy, perhaps. Yet do not laugh. It has been done before…twice.



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