May 10, 2016

Havana, Cuba

Havana, Cuba

Source: Bigstock

Now that Americans are being allowed to visit Cuba too, prepare to have your family gatherings (further) ruined by human toothaches raving about the country’s “€œwarm, wonderful people.”€

(Pro tip: Always put in “€œYou mean the ones who haven”€™t managed to escape?”€ and ask your kin if they”€™d be satisfied driving a 60-year-old car, no matter how “€œcolorful”€ and “€œquaint”€…)

Well, unless your last name is Kardashian.

Watching Cuba revert to its prerevolutionary state“€”a “€œcheap holiday in other people’s misery“€ for moneyed (and often felonious) Yankees and other foreigners”€”has, ironically, provided me with a few cut-rate satisfactions, too.

This report on Chanel’s first haute couture show in Havana, for instance, reads like a fairly bright undergrad’s workmanlike parody of Tom Wolfe.

More convincing was this uncharacteristically accomplished spoof at the otherwise reliably po-faced

The Kardashians, American plutocrats who have accumulated vast wealth from a foundation of murder and theft, are having a horrible time in Cuba, the right-wing broadsheet “€œPage Six“€ reports. The cabal of decadent capitalists is visiting the Caribbean paradise to exploit its natural beauty for the sake of their television show….

I resent sympathizing with Kim and company, but everyone (left and right) laughing at these “€œspoiled celebrities”€ should remember how they acted the last time they endured a shaky Internet connection”€”then bear in mind that the average Cuban doesn”€™t have one at all.

Then again: Back when the Cold War was still a “€œthing,”€ we were always gravely informed that “€œthe living would envy the dead”€ following that ever-pending nuclear conflagration. Today we can find ourselves, weirdly, envying those poor Cubans for one reason, at least:

“€œThey don”€™t have reality TV in Cuba“€”the Kardashians aren”€™t a big deal…. They are like, “€˜Who are you, why are you filming?”€™”€


Sign Up to Receive Our Latest Updates!