February 08, 2013
5. MITT ROMNEY MAKES SLAVE JOKES
In March 2012, the Free Wood Post, which claims to give you “News that’s almost reliable,” said Romney can relate to black people because his ancestors owned slaves. The left ran with it and many blacks Tweeted that they were no longer going to vote for Romney, which is sort of like gays boycotting vaginas.
4. MITT ROMNEY DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW PLANES WORK
After Romney’s wife was on a flight that had an electrical fire in September, Romney joked that planes are very dangerous because “the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem.” Yeah, that’s right, a guy with twice as many Harvard degrees as your beloved president thinks it’s not windy when you’re going 500 miles an hour. Romney isn’t cool enough to be funny, but I thought he delivered the joke surprisingly well. Rachel Maddow didn’t. She claims he couldn’t be joking because the incident involved his wife’s safety”or something. Ergo, he has the IQ of a five-year-old. Maddow personifies the type of person who doesn’t get jokes. Not only are they oblivious to the possibility that someone is trying to make light of a bad situation, they arrogantly hoist their mistake on a flagpole and march around town screaming, “SEE?!”
3. RACHEL MADDOW ASSUMES PALIN’S GOING TO INVADE AFRICA
When Ann Coulter was confronted with the black-pilot controversy, she said these jokes would work better if they were actually funny. Conversely, when Rachel Maddow learned that no, Sarah Palin is not invading North Africa as was stated on the satirical website ChristWire.org back in February of 2011, she said, “The bad news about a free and open Internet? Sometimes you get had by brilliant satirists.” When that didn’t work she blamed Glenn Beck because he created a world where this would be plausible. Instead of scouring the Internet for someone to blame, Maddow should look in the mirror and say, “Maybe I’m just a smug, humorless cunt.”
2. HUFFPO THINKS CHRISTIANS THINK MEN WHO GO TO ASIA ARE GAY
Today’s headlines on ChristWire include “Obama Murders George W. Bush’s Dog in Cold Blood,” “God Smites Australia,” and “Justin Bieber: Drug Addict, Twink, Murderer,” but that didn’t stop the Huffington Post from taking the site seriously”twice! They fell for the same Sarah Palin bit Maddow fell for, but what’s truly amazing about this flub is they had already been through this a year earlier when they believed everything they read in a ChristWire post about gay husbands. The guide featured tips on spotting a closeted spouse and said such men were known to “travel to Asia or big cities often.” The New York Times exposed the prank and the Huffington Post learned their lesson”for five months. Then they learned it again.
1. TAKI READERS THINK GIVING BIRTH IS HARD FOR MEN
Dudes, come on! I was kidding when I talked about how hard it was for me to go through childbirth. My wife had a human being ripped from her body and I described the indent her nail left on my finger. I said I only got six hours of sleep and was annoyed by her moaning in pain late at night. How obvious does a joke have to be? Comments on my article mentioned being “dragooned into the operating room” and the “pussification of men.” They sympathized with the horrible ordeal I was put through and said men shouldn’t have to go through it. She’s carrying a child for nine months. I think we can handle an unpleasant afternoon. I said that when she yelled at me, “It nearly made me cry.” Forget the pussification of men. If I made that satire any more obvious I’d have pussified the joke.
Are the readers here as anti-satire as the gun-control advocates, liberal pundits, communists, neocons, and fundamental Christians listed above? Please say it isn’t so. That would mean we’re just as uptight as them, and that’s just not funny.