October 29, 2012

Four years ago, a starry-eyed, hopeful, and fatally credulous nation elected Barack Obama to the presidency based largely on some dimwitted notion that he would usher us into a glittering new “€œpost-racial“€ era where everyone got along, had group orgies, and joyously mixed their genes into a highly agreeable shade of caramel.

Four years later, “€œresearchers”€ seem perplexed that the nation is just a tad more “€œracist”€ than it was four years ago.

A recently released “€œstudy“€ co-sponsored by the Associated Press”€”which, smack my ivory-colored ass if I”€™m wrong, is supposed to dispassionately report facts rather than issue studies that treat indefinable terms such as “€œprejudice”€ as if they were remotely scientific”€”has concluded that Americans are a whopping three percent more “€œprejudiced”€ than they were in 2008.

Here’s the punch line, served straight with no chaser by the objective fact-diggers at the AP:

Racial attitudes have not improved in the four years since the United States elected its first black president, an Associated Press poll finds, as a majority of Americans now express prejudice toward blacks whether they recognize those feelings or not.

Thank you, ladies and gents! My name is George Orwell, and I”€™ll be here all week! Don”€™t forget to tip your waitress!

“€œDon”€™t think about the idea that tribalism may be a natural instinct and that trying to go “€˜post-racial”€™ is as absurd as trying to go “€˜post-sexual.”€™”€

In their article announcing the study’s shocking findings, the AP trotted out a series of “€œExperts on race”€: for example, this one, this one, this one, this one, and this one. Notice a pattern? Sure, they also quoted this one apparently for balance, since he lives in an area that is less than half a percent black. The article was coauthored by this woman, which should allay any of your paranoid fears that the entire project stank to heaven of its own sort of prejudice, you racist.

And unless you want to be culturally stigmatized forever, don”€™t you dare question the study’s methodology, which concluded that it was “€œprejudiced”€ to respond in the affirmative when asked whether blacks tend to be more violent. Shut your eyes and ignore the facts, or we”€™ll bludgeon you into submission with nasty names. Because we all know that despite what all the evidence suggests, what you”€™re displaying is prejudice rather than postjudice. Even after decades of what may be hard personal experience, you are obviously prejudging.

And kindly snap your mind shut from wondering why it isn”€™t “€œracist”€ that 96% of blacks voted for Obama in 2008 or that Romney’s support among blacks is currently hovering around 0%. We can only hope that Obama is reelected and uses his unparalleled skills at unifying and healing to help black Americans finally get over Romney’s unfortunate skin color. Obviously it’s the Republicans who are alienating nonwhites, and the Democrats”€™ ceaseless white-bashing could not possibly be driving whites away in droves.

The ominous warning of the AP study is that this new upsurge in “€œprejudice”€ could cost Obama the election. So don”€™t blame them if disillusioned Obamabots riot as a result. Clearly it would not be the fault of his supporters, nor of the race-baiters in the media and the race “€œexperts”€ in academia”€”the blame will lie solely at the freckled feet of the “€œprejudiced.”€


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