October 09, 2023
Fictional dystopias are all the rage on page and screen today—just so long as they’re presented from a left-wing perspective. Then their fans can point at certain social trends they happen to disapprove of and yell something hysterical like, “See? The Handmaid’s Tale is LITERALLY coming true!” with reference to Roe v. Wade/#MeToo/Donald Trump existing. But two sides can play at that game…
The most famous crafter of Marxist-critical dystopias was, of course, George Orwell; 2023 saw the 120th anniversary of his birth, and 75 years since he finished writing 1984, his classic condemnation of what life had become in the gigantic nationwide gulag that was Stalin’s USSR, but transplanted to Britain, thirty years in the then future.
Yet, when 20th-century literary dystopias are judged purely upon the accuracy of their predictions for everyday life in tomorrow’s West, another author than Orwell actually wins the futurology prize. You’ll never hear this man being given any credit for it, though. Because he was a Nazi.
Like so many Nazis, Colin Jordan (1923–2009) held some slightly extreme political views. A real pro-level Jew-hater, he replaced the words “WEED KILLER” on gardening supplies with “JEW KILLER” instead; when a man fantasizes about exterminating 6 million unwanted dandelions from his back lawn with Zyklon-B rather than Roundup, you know he’s not quite right in the head.
Jordan worshipped Adolf Hitler like a god, seeing him as the true “Messiah” and “Savior,” not Jesus, “the counterfeit Christ of the Christians.” Jordan was oft prosecuted for inciting racial hatred, and once even for shoplifting three pairs of red knickers from a supermarket in 1975—an embarrassing fact those Shylocks who control the corrupt Britisher lügenpresse never failed to mention.
And yet, was this far-right loony really any more soft in the head than the supposedly “centrist,” “mainstream,” “grown-up” libtards who rule us today? Not when it came to the issue of nonwhite mass immigration, about whose deleterious long-term effects Colin possessed more insight than Nostradamus living in the Year 3000. Regrettably, he was treated with about as much heed as Cassandra—or, indeed, the great Enoch Powell.
“Democracy is Death,” Jordan felt, as it only ushered in “the police state” in the end—liberalism inevitably ending in state-enforced illiberalism. Such processes are generally called “Orwellian.” With apologies to King Abdullah II, they should be called “Jordanian.”
As a piece of literature, Colin Jordan’s crystal-gazing opus is wholly worthless. However, the author would undoubtedly have blamed the Jews for this misfortune. Under threat of allegedly ZOG-driven prosecution for Orwellian wrongthink, Jordan felt compelled to tone his narrative down under threat from “the tyrannical UK Race Act.” Supposedly, “the earlier draft was funnier, with more dramatic force.” The final published version, though, was basically just a long list of very bad things Herr Jordan reckoned were going to happen soon: an alarming number of which then promptly did.
Jordan’s knockoff 1984 was called Merrie England: 2000, being set in that year but published (by his own tiny neo-Nazi press, Gothic Ripples) in 1993; so this was a 1993 version of 1984, set in 2000, which this very year, 2023, sees the 30th anniversary of. I trust that’s clear.
The book opens with a 71-year-old white pensioner, Annie Oakwood, seeing her pet dog run off and hide under a nearby car. As the dog is black, she has carelessly named it after the now–verboten black Labrador famously once owned by RAF WWII hero Wing Commander Guy Gibson, of The Dam Busters fame—i.e., “Nigger.” “Nigger! Nigger! Come out at once!” Annie shouts under the car…only to find that, “Seconds later a somewhat different ‘Nigger’ did shoot out on a low mechanic’s trolley,” in the shape of an African-immigrant car repairman.
The dusky human calls the police, who respond immediately, as they always do toward reports of racism, though not necessarily theft or murder. Annie is arrested by “an Indian of some sort” in a turban and a dark dwarf in uniform, who can jabber only “pidgin English,” recruitment standards being lowered to such an extent the only important criterion is now “combatting color prejudice, not crime”—the book’s first correct prediction. In immigrant-ridden banlieue-style no-go area ghettos, all crime is now solved by the novel expedient of the police simply ignoring it.
Annie is soon handed over to a special unit, the Harmony Force, for racial reeducation. Henceforth, the plot collapses into a mere list of what was going to happen next under Britain’s near-future Jewish-controlled “dictatorship disguised as representative government.”
Moral Black Male
So, what did Colin Jordan get right about life in Merrie England: 2023? If you ignore the paranoia about the Elders of Zion being behind it all (and even a pre-3G version of the 5G mind-control conspiracy!), quite a lot, really: Click on the links below to see where fiction speedily became fact.
For starters, there is Jordan’s uncanny anticipation of the transformation of history into a deliberately misleading vehicle for inculcating racial self-hatred into white people via pseudo-documentaries like He Made Motoring Possible, about the Zulu Chief Wangwacko, who allegedly invented the internal combustion engine before this was stolen by wicked whites who fraudulently passed his genius off as their own—compare this recent story about dubious claims that equally evil white men stole innovative iron-production methods from helpless enslaved Jamaican (very-)blacksmiths. Likewise, in Jordan’s future Britain, it was now proved how “Ancient Africa taught Ancient Greece everything it came to know and possess”: Plato was a plagiarist.
Government censors decree that, in dramas, 50 percent of Caesar’s legions or Nelson’s sailors have to be cast as black, falsifying the past in the name of “racial integration.” Events of the past “should be shown as they ought to have been instead of as they happened to have been.” Thus, Robin Hood becomes “a persecuted Pakistani seeking refuge in Sherwood Forest,” pursued by that noted KKK Grand Wizard, the Sheriff of Nottingham.
Cleopatra is depicted as a black woman, whilst the original inhabitants of Europe are revealed as negroes. Black men even discovered America, ignorant citizens are taught, where they invented early versions of McDonald’s, before being wiped out by an equally early form of AIDS. Just like Afrocentrist “magic melanin” racists preach today, whites were degenerate mutant offspring of blacks, whose skin’s low melanin content was “the sure sign of biological blight,” say Jordan’s fictional anthropologists.
In short, history becomes “not some impartial record of what actually happened, but an instrument for human development whereby the past was recast as the matrix for a designated future,” as with today’s real-life 1619 Project hoax or the BBC’s aptly named Horrible Histories kids’ TV show. “Hate the past! Honor the future!” becomes the new cry. On 1 January 2000, Nelson’s Column becomes instead Nelson Mandela’s column to mark the dawning of a new millennial Dark Age—a proposal since made for real. Some (deliberately) ill-educated British schoolkids today think it is Nelson Mandela standing up there anyway! (In a totally unrelated fact, this very month, October, is currently Black History Month here in the U.K., by the way…)
So brainwashed into negro worship do whites become that they begin acting like Rachel Dolezal three decades too soon, suntanning their skin, undergoing plastic surgery to thicken their lips and noses, and having “costly implants of fuzzy hair from freshly deceased African donors.” Other duped Caucasians parade the streets, whipping themselves and carrying heavy sandbags symbolizing white guilt in penance for the purported racial sins of their forefathers: In 2020, their real-life equivalents also performed public penance to somehow atone for the death of George Floyd.
Unacceptable terms like “black mark” receive a, um, black mark against their name, whilst white items like milk and (non-used) toilet paper are deemed problematic, with government White Papers banned following “passionate protest from the pygmy population of Plymouth.” Even snow is deemed “a major problem.” It would be far better if it rained brown dung.
Through examining the work of Jomo Kenyatta Primary School in Streatham, London, Jordan also shows us how education becomes systematically subverted. The only point of school is now to instill profoundly intolerant levels of “tolerance” in kids to the extent that collapsing levels of literacy and numeracy no longer matter: Jordan even successfully anticipated the advent of ethnomathematics, with kids taught that 1 white + 1 white = only half a black.
To prepare infants for a world of positive discrimination, blacks gain extra marks in schoolwork automatically, and meritless preferential admission to university. This will train everyone to automatically accept how their future employers are legally “obliged to prove that they were not discriminating against blacks, and the only way to do that was to discriminate against whites.”
Remarkably, Jordan even successfully sees the advent of the activist teacher-led transgender child-grooming cult. This begins with obsessive depictions of interracial relationships, as in contemporary adverts or “outdoor murals depicting the fusion of all hominids, accompanied by verses to the glory of their oneness.” Even the Royal Family are co-opted into taking nonwhite spouses: Hello, Princess Meghan!
It seems the overriding aim of society is now enforcing “The mixture of all humanity to produce the world man and woman, and eventually the world unisex.” Even Father Christmas must become a Mother-Father hermaphrodite. Golliwogs are banned, replaced by new trans-propaganda dolls of the character Materpater, “a creature half male and half female, half-white and half-colored: in short, an androgynous hybrid.” Compare this to Mattel’s new real-life “Creatable World” series of trans dolls and shudder.
Quota systems for gaybos and lesbos on TV also appear, so that “eventually heterosexuality would be seen as the divergence of the primitive minority and gayness would be seen as the norm of the privileged majority.” That’s contemporary Queer Theory in a nutshell. Even the word “woman” is replaced with the word “fem”; no invented pronouns yet, but not even Colin Jordan could get everything right.
The Freedom Fail
Overall, “democracy” becomes merely “The Freedom to Comply,” which sounds about right from today’s perspective, a Marxist power grab implemented not by sudden total revolution, as in 1917 Russia, but by “stealthy gradualism” instead. The economy too is seized, becoming “Commu-Capitalism, a synthesis of Marxism and Money,” as with today’s malign woke corporatist world.
But opinion polls showed the nation wanted all this, didn’t they? Only because of systematic social engineering since birth: “The Ministry [was] always doing whatever the public wanted because the Ministry had always made sure that the public wanted whatever the Ministry was going to do.”
In short, whilst of zero literary merit, just like most PC-addled winners of the modern-day Booker Prize, Merrie-England: 2000 is one of the most prophetic science-fiction novels ever written. You don’t need to bother reading it: You’re living it, right now. If Jackboot Jordan was a dangerous political extremist, what does that make our current rulers?