July 09, 2007

If you aren’t cleanshaven, you might think twice before flying into Not-So-Merrie-Old England:

“Metallica singer James Hetfield was investigated by UK airport officials who believed he was a terrorist this week, it has been claimed. The star was barred entry to Luton airport on Thursday and questioned by staff who were concerned about his appearance. Fears that Hetfield might be involved in terrorism were apparently founded on his “Taliban-like beard.”

Are these people serious? Actually, Metallica is probably one of our major assets in the War on Terrorism,” especially when it comes to torturing captives: a few hours of Senor Hetfield‘s “music,” with the victim tied to a chair, could be quite effective, albeit probably a violation of the Geneva conventions.


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