“€œCan”€™t go to a movie the first week it opens. Why? Because niggers are shooting at the screen.”€ “€”Chris Rock, 1997

Still wondering if Marco Rubio should get to sit behind that Resolute desk? Wonder no more!

I”€™m indebted to Michelle Malkin for finding this @marcorubio tweet, date-stamped July 21:

Anyone know a good theatre in Manchester or Des Moines to catch #StraightOuttaCompton? Trailer looks amazing.

Where to start?

If you see a brand-new trailer on July 21, that means the movie isn”€™t actually in theaters yet. (Grandpa.) That’s why the word “€œPREVIEW”€ appears in big type, all caps, on that green card in the opening seconds. Next Rubio will be asking where he can buy the DVD…

And there’s nothing “€œamazing”€ about this particular preview anyhow. From the looks of it, Straight Outta Compton is just another Hollywood biopic. HEAR the excruciating “€œHello my brother the Attorney General!”€-style expository dialogue! SEE the fast-paced yet weirdly ponderous push-button imagery: corny period duds; “€œHey, it’s that guy!”€ stunt casting (with accompanying stunt haircuts); the smash-cut smashing of glass and the chanting of crowds and the inevitable “€œuh-oh”€ blackout thud that signals That Bad Thing That Famously Happened.

“€œThe English language doesn”€™t have a word to convey how little I care about this movie, rap/hip-hop/”€œurban”€ “€œmusic”€ in general, and the thugs, hustlers, and ignorami who create and listen to it. “€

Each cynically spliced snippet is designed to deliver Milgram-like jolts of nostalgia-recognition-anticipation to the film’s intended (paying, all-important first-weekend) audience.

Of which I am decidedly not a member.

Straight Outta Compton is about the making of N.W.A’s”€”that’s Niggaz Wit Attitudes”€™”€””€œhistoric”€ first “€œgansta rap”€ album in 1988, and the lives of group members Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, and, frankly, who cares who else? Seriously: Go look them up yourself.

The English language doesn”€™t have a word to convey how little I care about this movie, rap/hip-hop/”€œurban”€ “€œmusic”€ in general, and the thugs, hustlers, and ignorami who create and listen to it.

I”€™m a fair trend-spotter, so it pains me to admit I was wrong about rap. I gave it five years”€”ten, tops”€”but it hung on like Terri Schiavo. How? At one point, the phrase “€œRap is crap“€ was almost as ubiquitous as its predecessor, “€œDisco sucks.”€ Like “€œBloody Mary“€ in reverse, “€œDisco sucks”€ had caused an entire international billion-dollar musical genre to disappear in disgrace.

So I kept waiting for the rap version of Disco Demolition Night. It never came.

Instead, this monotonous “€œmusic”€ now gets honored in the Rock and Roll (?!) Hall of Fame. Weirdly (or not), whites”€”or in Rubio’s case, nonblacks”€”are the genre’s largest fan base.

At this point, compulsive Taki’s commenters will be scrolling down to the comments to blame this sad, sinister state of pop culture affairs on “€œthe JOOOOOOOZ!!!”€ I”€™m risking my monthly ZOG check here, but when outlets as divergent as Farrakhan’s Final Call and The Forward agree, who am I to argue for once? Yep: The Jews did it.

When it comes to hip-hop, gentiles”€”from wiggers to hipsters”€”are at their embarrassing worst. They have adopted the ugly slang and even uglier clothing, debate hip-hop’s supposed subtle permutations like they”€™re wine vintages, and know way too many details about the genre’s sordid, high-body-count history: East Coast vs. West Coast “€œbeefs,”€ and who shot Biggie or Smallie or Snoopy.

Hell, even I know that the most notorious song on N.W.A’s debut was a little ditty called “€œFuck tha Police.”€ Say, is that “€œamazing”€ too, Marco? What will the Cleveland delegates think?

Oh, and when you finally track down that theater you”€™re looking for, will there be plenty of said police inside and out?

Because so far the only notable thing about Straight Outta Compton“€”no, not that brain-dead Internet meme“€”has been articles like this that began appearing just before the movie’s debut:

Universal is offering money for private security for theaters during the opening weekend for “€œStraight Outta Compton.”€

And law-enforcement agencies in Los Angeles increased their presence at theaters showing the film, reportedly in response to requests from theater owners.


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