October 16, 2015
Source: Shutterstock
Making cartoons a part of your life is as normal as being into football. I just looked at an office space with a sexually ambiguous, male, fortysomething Realtor who casually mentioned his love of the Powerpuff Girls. When I recoiled in horror he seemed surprised and said, “Oh come on. Everyone has their vices.” My vices are bourbon and yelling at strangers, not round drawings of 5-year-old girls.
I went to see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs with my kids and as I sat in front of a 50-year-old male he let out an exasperated sigh. I asked him if there was a problem and he said, “Of all the seats in the whole theater, you just had to sit there.” I am not tall nor do I wear a top hat so I yelled, “I”m sorry if my CHILDREN ruined your CHILDREN’s movie!” The exact same thing happened when I took them to The Adventures of Tintin. There was a well-dressed old lady in the front who rolled her eyes when I showed up with my three kids. A whole pile of families came in after us and I heard her mumble, “Shit,” as she grabbed her coat and stormed out. It’s a fucking cartoon! Tintin’s dog showed him a treasure map. Mind if some kids check it out?
Halloween is a couple of weeks away and the streets are filled with pop-up stores full of costumes. I”d estimate about 80% of the costumes are for adults. Women seem to have turned the holiday into slut night, which I won”t be objecting to anytime soon. However, it is kind of weird walking my kids through row after row of prostitute outfits so they can look at normal kids” costumes at the back of the store. Liberals like to yammer on and on about “cultural insensitivity“ during Halloween. How about the fact that you are adults talking about a night when you”re meant to go door-to-door asking grown-ups for candy? We”re not stealing culture from minorities. We”re stealing it from kids. I”m not against adults having fun, but when they become so comfortable with being a kid it starts pushing out real kids, we need to stamp that out, no erasies, swallow the key, times infinity.
