January 12, 2011
I am a 42-year-old woman, a recovering addict, and I really would like to have a baby. I have the financial means and feel like I am finally in a good place in my life, but I currently do not have a boyfriend. Do you have any suggestions?
“Mommy or Not in Middleburg
Dear Mommy or Not in Middleburg,
It hinges on whether you think you can find love for yourself and a father for your child all in the same man. All by yourself, you can adopt a child or go to a sperm bank. However, I think a father is a natural and necessary part of having a child. If males are required for reproduction, who are we to challenge the natural order?
You are working against the clock, so you need to figure out what you want in a hurry. You can quickly choose a man who you think would be a good father, get married, and have a baby. The chances of your marriage ending in divorce are no worse than those of any other couple. They may even be better, because your objectives and expectations are clearer. Or you can hold out for love and pray you find a man in time. However, just because you love a man does not mean he is going to be a good daddy. But even though you need to hurry, first you need to figure out exactly what you really want”romantic love and a child, or only a child? So take some time to reflect…then hurry!
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