July 07, 2009

The media has successfully chased Palin out of politics, but that doesn”€™t mean she won”€™t become the next president. After the press clobbered Nixon out of a presidential campaign and then out of a California governorship, he told them, “€œYou won”€™t have Nixon to kick around any more”€ and swore off politics for good. Seven years later he was president of the United States. Americans resented the media for telling them who to like in the early “€˜60s so when Nixon said he had a plan to get out of Vietnam, they ignored the press’s bias and stuck him in the white house. What if Palin’s got a plan for Iraq in 2012?

If she pulls that off, everyone at ABC, CBS, CNN, AP, MSNBC, MTV, SNL, Newsweek, Rolling Stone, Time, the New York Times, The View, and Oprah are going to kill themselves. Why bother being a journalist if you can”€™t change things, right? Wait, what? That’s not the fucking deal. Reporters are supposed to “€œreport”€ things, not tell us who to like.

The vitriol behind Sarah Palin bashing always made me uneasy. From the viral video of linebacker slamming her to the ground to Letterman’s recent jokes about fucking, everyone just seemed irrationally angry. A close friend of mine told me he”€™d like to kick her in the cunt. Who wants to kick anyone in the cunt? He believed it when the press told him she insisted on abstinence-only sex education, slashed funds for special needs kids, and wanted to inject creationism into public schools. All of which were lies.

The real reason they hate her is because she’s a woman who is pro-life. Everyone I know hates that even more than a visible minority who dares to be Republican.

When you see the Palin-bashing put up next to the Obama smooching, the bias becomes even more appalling. I realize nobody’s going to do this, but if any of you would dare watch just five minutes of Media Malpractice you would see how totally unreliable mainstream news is and what a pathetic fiasco this last presidential campaign was. The movie meticulously documents each media fuck up line by line. When Palin was inexperienced, Obama was fresh. When people dared to bring up Reverend Wright, Anderson Cooper would shoot it down as irrelevant (12 times in one segment) and cut to Campbell Brown discussing Palin’s wardrobe “€“ again. Then John Roberts declared CNN a “€œReverend Wright-free zone”€ and that was that. Tina Fey’s impersonations of Palin became fact but when anyone mentioned “€œObama”€ in the same breath as “€œterrorists,”€ they were slapped for pluralizing. IT’s JUST ONE! (Obama’s wife was good buddies with Ayers’s wife so it was “€œterroristS”€ after all). Shit, you had CNN reporters literally working for the Obama campaign and discussing it openly on The Situation Room. Can you fucking believe that?

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I am not a big fan of pro-lifers, so Palin’s out. And Nixon totally dropped the ball with Vietnam. However, I want to dislike these people on my own accord, and not have Gloria Vanderbilt’s son make the decision for me. That’s not his fucking job. When Bill Hicks saw how popular George Michael was getting he said, “€œWhen did we start letting babysitters tell us what’s good?”€ but we”€™ve always been listening to babysitters. That’s what CNN is.

So, now that the press doesn”€™t have Palin “€œto kick around any more”€ is she going to leave for good or follow the same path as “€œTricky Dicky.”€ I”€™m hoping for the latter. If only just to see the carnage.


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