September 15, 2014

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Since black people are viewed as inferior, they live in horrible communities and face ceaseless oppression and hatred at the hands of bigoted politicians who use them as tools but don’t really care about them, who only serve to buttress and enrich racist policemen and a racist prison system that routinely sets them up on false charges, making them insane while refusing to treat them for mental illness.

Surveying all the available evidence”€”at least as it’s framed through a Google search of the past week’s American media”€”a discerning Martian would reach two sobering and inescapable conclusions:

1) Being white sucks because white people suck.
2) Being black sucks because white people suck.

One might also rightly develop the sense that white people should hate themselves and be forced to live a bleak existence of constant apology and retreat. One might also conclude that black people have every right to bleed resentment from every pore until this dangerously unquantifiable, highly emotional, and uniquely human notion of “€œjustice”€ is achieved.

Since you are a highly rational Martian, you would also be led to the inexorable conclusion that the current situation, whether by accident or design, cannot possibly lead to racial harmony. Instead, it almost seems purposely engineered to result in escalating levels of conflict.

Any sane Martian would conclude it’s better to stay on the red planet and let those silly black-and-white earthlings sort this one out for themselves.


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