October 07, 2014
Gabrielle Union
Source: Shutterstock
(Seriously, though, I will bet that 4chan have been snooping for nude photos of Kashmir and Megan since these columns went live.)
If these celebrity defenders sound like petulant teenagers, the “hacked” celebrities themselves are accidentally providing the general public with more entertainment than they tend to do in their professional capacities.
Someone named Mary E. Winstead Tweeted, “To those of you looking at photos I took with my husband years ago in the privacy of our home, hope you feel great about yourselves.”
However, a different someone named Gabrielle Union has emerged as the surprise breakout star of this whole sordid mess, thanks to her inadvertently hilarious “official statement”:
It has come to our attention that our private moments, that were shared and deleted solely between my husband and myself, have been leaked by some vultures.
I can”t help but to be reminded that since the dawn of time women and children, specifically women of color, have been victimized, and the power over their own bodies taken from them. These atrocities against women and children continue worldwide.
Gabrielle may be a “woman of color,” but fortunately for her, she’s one burdened with decidedly First World problems. (Only one of which is a sadly commonplace misconception of “privacy.”)
The minds of “women and children of color” in the Third World are no doubt preoccupied by other sorts of vultures and clouds and leaking vaginas.
But perhaps these tragic souls can take some small comfort from the knowledge that”when they aren”t busy photographing their posteriors for “private” posterity, then suing the Internet for accidentally making their privates public”the rich and famous, oh so far away, occasionally spare them a tender thought.
