December 27, 2015
Source: Wikimedia Commons
PLANNED PARENTHOOD: FAILING TO DISCLOSE YOUR HIV STATUS TO A SEXUAL PARTNER IS A HUMAN RIGHT
Those baby-parts-vending scamps at Planned Parenthood have released a totally rad and very colorful pamphlet entitled “Healthy, Happy and Hot.” It’s a fun and eye-catching guide to being a vibrant, sexy, and empowered member of the HIV-positive youth community.
The pamphlet counsels young kids with “The AIDS” that it is their personal choice whether or not to disclose to potential sex partners that they are carrying the deadly virus in their loins and throughout their bloodstream:
You know best if and when it is safe for you to disclose your status. Sharing your HIV status is called disclosure. Your decision about whether to disclose may change with different people and situations. You have the right to decide if, when, and how to disclose your HIV status.
The pamphlet goes on to explain that there are many reasons why an HIV-positive person may not feel safe telling a partner that they’re infected, such as possibly being physically assaulted, which as we all know is far more heinous than purposely infecting someone with a deadly virus.
Thanks again, Planned Parenthood!
TRANSGENDER CATFIGHT!!!: BRADLEY MANNING V. BRUCE JENNER
In their ongoing and ceaseless mission to prove to the world that, hey, considering their behavior, maybe they truly are women after all, male-to-female transsexuals continue to scratch and claw and hiss at one another like estrogen-crazed psychopaths.
Bradley Manning, who divulged US military secrets and later told the world he’s a chick, took to Twitter recently to criticize Bruce Jenner, who won an Olympic gold medal and later told the world he’s a chick. On Twitter, Manning referred to Jenner as the Grinch who stole (and sold out) the trans movement. Apparently Jenner isn’t ideologically pure enough on certain gay issues for Manning, which pisses off Manning, because he doesn’t get nearly the attention that Jenner does even though he’s ideologically purer.
It’s hard out there for men who pretend they’re women.
WHEN REDHEADS TURN TO EXTREMISM
Mark Colborne”who has red hair and is described as a “ginger extremist””has been sentenced to indefinite detention in a mental health facility as a result of his plot to assassinate Prince Charles so that red-headed Prince Harry can become England’s next king. In Colborne’s diaries, he spoke of being bullied as a child for his red hair; he also praised the IRA for its high quotient of carrot-topped soldiers.
UNIDENTIFIED 400-POUND BEARDED WOMAN SOUGHT IN STABBING
It represents a giant leap for human equality and universal inclusivity for us as a society to realize that people of indeterminate gender can be every bit as bunny-boilingly crazy as your average person who accepts the genitals they were assigned at birth. This was made evident with the recent stabbing of a man by a “400-pound bearded woman” in San Diego who remains “at large””get it?”at press time.
“SOCIALISM” WAS THE MOST-SEARCHED DICTIONARY TERM OF 2015
According to Merriam-Webster, the most looked-up word on their site this year was not “Negro,” “cuckservative,” “schlonged,” “Jewsplaining,” “neuticles,” “identitarian,” nor even “nougat.” No, it was “socialism.” As the saying goes, “Those who do not remember Stalin’s purges are condemned to vote for Bernie Sanders.”